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My wife has had depression for a time. 4 years ago she left…

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Hello , my wife...

Hello , my wife has had depression for a long time. 4 years ago she left myself and our three children saying she wanted to have sex with other men seek help and see if she could make it on her own. 12 months later having been seen a therapist she returned to the family saying she had changed and wanted to make things right. On my part I thought alright lets how it goes but that it was up to her to make the change. She basically went back to where she started, it seems to me that on the whole everything and everyone else comes first in priority and that I come second to those. Obviously this causes conflict. I have accused her of being selfish and self serving. On the other hand she works tirelessly and is a good mother, she is unable to tell me she loves me and apart from fantastic sex is emotionally aloof to me. Please can you give me an opinion. Regards ***** *****

Doctor's Assistant: How long have you been feeling this way? Have you reached out to anyone about this yet?

I have not reached out to anyone, it has gone on for years, is there any hope of a happy family life?

Doctor's Assistant: Anything else in your medical history you think the psychologist should know?

Not in my history. My wife was on different anti depressants at different stages. The last just before she left and in my opinion they sent her totally irrational.

Submitted: 11 months ago.Category: Mental Health
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Answered in 26 minutes by:
9/14/2017
Mental Health Professional: Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC replied 11 months ago
Linda D.
Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 871
Experience: LMSW, CASAC
Verified

Welcome to JA. My name is ***** ***** I am a licensed psychotherapist in private practice in NYS. I am preparing my reply and will post in one moment.

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Mental Health Professional: Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC replied 11 months ago

Hello Peter, thank you for reaching out to Just Answer. I am sorry to hear the difficulty your marriage has been going through, however there is always hope for a marriage to heal, grow and be happier.. First, I would like to ask a couple of questions so that I may help you better. How old are your children? How long have you been married? Thank you, ***** ***** LMSW, CASAC

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Customer reply replied 11 months ago
Thank you,
Customer reply replied 11 months ago
Please just post it.
Mental Health Professional: Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC replied 11 months ago

There are several qualities that form the basis of a healthy, long term relationship; these include mutual respect, ability to communicate needs and wants, shared values and goals, ability to grow and develop as separate individuals while also nurturing the couple, the US. All marriages go through struggles and challenges at times and developing these qualities becomes an ongoing process, sometimes involving trial and error. Your wife's mental illness may have led her to making poor choices in an effort to find relief/answers to her struggles with depression. Your ability to forgive and give her another chance and her desire to seek help are both very positive to give the marriage a chance. However, I would strongly recommend that you both see a marriage counselor who can provide a safe, therapeutic space for the two of you to improve your relationship skills and repair the damage of the year she left. She may have fears and anxieties about being too close or vulnerable with you and that is why she seems to be sabotaging the relationship. A good marriage counselor can help you to both see what you might not be able to see on your own. I have worked with many, many couples in my practice and when both parties are willing and able to do work on themselves and their marriage I have seen couples grow closer and stronger than before. I look forward to hearing your thoughts. Sincerely, ***** ***** LMSW, CASAC

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Mental Health Professional: Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC replied 11 months ago

Peter, I hope my service to you help with your question. I wish you and your family all the best and would appreciate you taking a moment to rate my service to you. Thank you very much, Linda D., LMSW, CASAC

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