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Hi, thank you for writing. My name is***** am sorry you are struggling. Is there something specific you want to know about this? I am happy just to chat if that would help as well. If so, tell me more...
You are not a mess. You have had very bad things happen to you and have been victimized over and over. I am so so sorry to hear all this happened to you. For anyone, it would be extremely hard to live a "simple" life with all of these scars from the past. Did something trigger you recently? what happened to get you to the point of losing your job? Where are you living?
You are being overcome with anxiety and it is leading to panic and depression. Naturally, things can fall out of line when you get distressed - you have had a lot occur and it can be overwhelming to keep picking yourself up again and also overwhelming to focus on general life stuff. Despite all these hard time,s you did find a way to get on track but it proved hard to maintain. first and foremost, cut yourself a break. You may be derailed but you aren't overturned. You can get back on track - you do just need to take a step back and figure out where to begin again. You have done it before and can do it again...
Honestly, you really have done well considering. Have you ever been in therapy?
I understand.i think the best thing you can do to pull out of this is to take a step forward. What do you think is your number one priority right now i terms of making positive change? Besides taking care of your son, is there something you think would help you turn a corner so you can start to feel hopeful? A job application? a call to your past manager? A visit to t\your local community agency that helps with employment? A call to the housing people in your community?
Please don't worry about typos. i am reading through your replies...
Do you take any medications for depression? it sounds like some your issues with working slowly, having trouble on the job with focus, problems with decisions, etc could be directly correlated to depression as those are symptoms....more...
When it comes down to anxiety, anxiety is a hard thing because it can so easily affect your behavior. By this, i mean that anxiety starts to warn you about your ability - it starts to make you doubtful, self-conscious, nervous, scared... When you listen to these things and start to believe them, the anxiety gets fed and comes on stronger and stronger. It is when you stop listening to the anxiety and start to push through that you realize that you can handle things. That you can get back to the job. that you have skills and purpose and capabilities. That you have lived through so much already and you still have something to give. Anxiety is warm and cozy when you give it a chance - pick your battle and fight it proving to your anxiety that the things it chatters aren't true and aren't worth holding you back from getting back on track.
I strongly suggest you consider talking to your primary care doctor or a psychiatrist about getting started on an antidepressant like Zoloft, lexapro, or Celexa. (those are just some examples). these medications also treat anxiety and can take the edge of in gentler ways. they work to prevent anxiety unlike reactive pills like Xanax or Ativan.the anxiety pills can also have more physical side effects and while they work to calm, fast, they can be addictive and sedating. An SSRI can have some side effects too but is safer in the long run and more appropriate for ongoing anxiety.
You are right, living at your Mom's house isn't ideal but it isn't catastrophic either. As far as your future - you are young!!! You have promise and can still accomplish things that you want to do. you just have to figure out what that really is. If you have goals, there is no time like the present to start to commit to them. you can have a career and success - I promise you, it is not too late. You just have to believe and not let your past heartbreak get in your way.
Depression and anxiety hold people back and make them believe only negative things. Depression and hopelessness are best friends. Perhaps the best first step to you is to get your depression managed. that will allow you to breath again and once you are thinking more clearly without doom and gloom always on your mind, then you can garner up the strength to take forward steps in your job/career so your future seems positive again.
Don't let anybody tell you this is easy. Depression is life-sucking!! But you can fight depression by continuing to push. You still; have so much to offer, it is just under a cloud right now and that cloud needs some help lifting...
I promise, lows like this do eventually get easier. Just when it seems like things are at their worst, things lift and brighten. Keep faith, keep trying. Small goals and small victories one day at a time will fuel your comeback.
Hi, just checking back with you today. How is it going?