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TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 3530
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker.
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He took our picture off of instagram and is following other

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He took our picture off of instagram and is following other woman 3 new women he's following in the last 3 days. I'm heart broken and don't even know how to approach it

You stay the course for what we decided yesterday...I know you want to do more and reach out but that will have him end things immediately. I know you are hurting and angry but it is the only way.

in the future you need to include my name and write for therapist jen only or else other experts will pick it up.

Customer: replied 2 months ago.
He is still following me. This is so hurtful. I can't confront him? Or is this part of the space? Please help me I'm so sick to my stomach. is he keeping his options open?
Customer: replied 2 months ago.
I really want to go to house. I hurt him but he was just with me Thursday intimately. I don't understand.... doesn't this signify it's over? He took our pictures off maybe he's trying to send me a message

If you confront it is the fastest way to an ending. If this is part of the space he needs then that is what he will do...if it doesn't work for you then you can end it, but if you go to his house, confront him, text him or anything similar you most likely will get a quick answer of its over. Don't read into anything about his behavior that he is sending a message...he is living in the space that he desires right now.

Customer: replied 2 months ago.
Don't you think he should of told me that's the kind of space he wanted? I feel like he is throwing me away
Customer: replied 2 months ago.
Or if he wants to date other people and keep his options open. I don't know how that is going to fix anything with us. If that's what he calls his "space"
Customer: replied 2 months ago.
Or how he is supposed to think and figure things out.... I was just with him Thursday intimately and he even texted me Friday telling me how it was nice to be with me and spend time with me again. I'm so confused
Customer: replied 2 months ago.
He made a comment when we were laying down that the one girl I love and care about broke my heart
Customer: replied 2 months ago.
How is anything supposed to get better with the distance and space? I hope he realizes my absence in his life soon

You are making a lot of assumptions about his space. If you can't take the space then only you can decide to walk away but if you don't want to walk away then honoring it is the only choice.

Customer: replied 2 months ago.
Well only because he is following about 4 different women on instagram in the course of 3 days. And his profile is private so they have tk request him to follow him. And I saw one for following him and noticed he took our pic down today. And I when I asked him Saturday if there was anyone else he got super defensive and said it was the last time he was going to tell me no.
Customer: replied 2 months ago.
I thought he wanted space to think about things about "figure things out". How am I not supposed to take this as him breaking up with me?

Hi space may involve putting himself out there to see how it feels. If you feel that you must reach out to him, then that is your call, I just don't see it going the way you hope and looking at the long goal is what should happen.

Customer: replied 2 months ago.
All of a sudden he's following other woman on social media. I don't know where or finding them, my only guess is online. IThis was the last text I sent him and got no response.I know you want your space and I won't text you anymore. I didn't sleep an ounce. I'm just so confused. I thought I meant something to you. I have a text from you saying you do know I'm trustworthy and you have forgiven me. I thought you loved me so much and cared so much about me and would do anything for me. I thought what we have is more special than anything we both ever experienced. I don't understand how all that can just disappear. I have been fighting to show you. And that it is worth sticking together and loving each other unconditionally. You are an important part of my life. The best memories I ever experienced are with you Michael. I hope you don't give up on us. I feel so sad you won't give me a chance, a fair one. The mere thought of ever having to be without you Or even thinking of you with someone else. Makes me so sick to my stomach.I know your guarded but open your heart and your eyes see what's in front of you.It's very specialI've listened to you and haven't contacted him. He's going to know that by him taking our picture off it's going to hurt me. :,(The last reponse I got from him was "thank you. This isn't easy for either of us"
Customer: replied 2 months ago.
I just think he should of told me if his space meant look/date other people.I don't know how to deal with it. Itnbreaks my heart.
Customer: replied 2 months ago.
I don't know how to handle this situation I've never been in it before. I feel like I'm losing the one person I cherish and love the most and there's nothing I can do about it. What length of time should I give him the space?
Customer: replied 2 months ago.
If he's having a hard time trusting me over a misconception that in his head about our relationship. How would he even try to trust someone else? Or another woman? I am just not understanding Jenn! That's why I came to you, be patient with me
Customer: replied 2 months ago.
If I pushed him away, I want to know how to get him back

I know you wish he would have told you...wouldn't it be great if everyone said and behaved in the way we believe they should? It just doesn't go like that. The best way to have a chance is to leave him be....he needs his space and in that space it may involve others..you can't control that and again the only thing you can control is you and if you can't tolerate the space then you have choices on whether to stay.

Customer: replied 2 months ago.
I'm upset because the last couple times I asked him he said remarks like" omg your rediculous" or "cray cray". Even when I joked oh you want space to date around... and then last week him contacting me all week and texting me and calling me and asking me to come see him 3 days in a row and then when I didn't see him talking to him on the phone at night. And then finally seeing him. It's enough to make anyone crazy. How do I even know if it is over? That's the most frustrating part.
Customer: replied 2 months ago.
I want to pull him back. He is going tk end up making a huge mistake and if he ends up being with anyone intimately I don't think I could stay
Customer: replied 2 months ago.
He probably pulled away again cause of guilt or he knows what he's meaning by "space" or "time" to figure things out

People feelings and emotions change so even if he said those things last week, he may have new feelings this week.

Follow what you feel is right for you...I can only suggest what I believe is a good course.

Customer: replied 2 months ago.
I guess I just need to let him miss me and my love. And feel my absence

yes this is what I was trying to impress upon you yesterday. We don't know any outcome but my expertise does tell me if you reach out now, it will be over for sure.

Customer: replied 2 months ago.
He just seemed so distant Saturday and got super defensive when I asked. And then said you never even gave me the space I asked for , meanwhile I tried and he contacted me!!!!! Men are so strange!!!

WE can go round and round and let it drive you crazy or we can sit back for a bit, take time to yourself and let things play out.

Customer: replied 2 months ago.
Yeah I'm just super heartbroken seeing that

And you are allowed all of your feelings!

Customer: replied 2 months ago.
Should I then remove his?? I play that game too! I even have MN❤️ In my profile.his insta looks like he's single now
Customer: replied 2 months ago.
He knows damn well that will hurt me that he did thag

Stop thinking it is a game and playing one yourself. I have given you my best thoughts and they won't change but only you can make the choices that feel right for you.

Customer: replied 2 months ago.
you don't think I should remove it? Sorry Jenn I'm probably being frustrating lol

I wouldn't play any games, social media or otherwise and I would go silent and take the time for myself!

Customer: replied 2 months ago.
Ok, he wanted space from me and or relationship. I'll give him more than that

yes that is correct.

Customer: replied 2 months ago.
Jenn,
This is what Mike sent me in June when we were going through issues from a. Psycho crazy ex.We will get through this and we will do it together. And to stick together and move forward together. And to trust in god. To come together to work thru it, to love and care about each other thru the struggles and concerns, and to come together instead of apart because they love and care about me so much. And to trust in GOD and US.And I did I worked they that with him. And he can't even do the same?!?!? What kind of love is that?

This is what he wants now so give him the space or end it if you can't.

Customer: replied 2 months ago.
Ok but honestly how can I even have hope a this point?

no way to know the outcome so you get to choose how to feel..to have hope or not.

I would stay off his social media and not look and give the space he asked for and let it play out.

I will be signing off for the night in a few just as an fyi.

Customer: replied 2 months ago.
Ok
Customer: replied 2 months ago.
I will just give home space as hard as it is mot tk confront him. He just needs to miss me and I know he will
Customer: replied 2 months ago.
Thanks

I am on board with that plan!!! As I said last night..be strong, take care of you and go nourish yourself now.

Please take a moment to click the rating faces. Thanks!

I would appreciate the rating and your integrity around this. Without your rating I don't receive credit for my time and I have spent a lot of time here with you.

TherapistJen and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 months ago.
Hi Jenn,
Well we didn't talk for a week and he called me Sunday . I let the cal miss and called him back after an hour. We talked for about 40'mins he said he didn't get a lot of time to think about things this last week because he worked almost 70 hrs and he said he will talk to me in another week. But before we got off the phone he thanked me for calling him back and said it was nice to hear my voice
Customer: replied 2 months ago.
I miss him so much and love him so much.I texted him Sunday after we got off the phone and this was the exchange.
Cause he sent me a picture of his new car while we were on the phoneMe:That's bad ass! Happy for you! �� Have a good workout and a good rest of your night
Him: Thanks. I hope you do too!It is badddd asssss
Customer: replied 2 months ago.
Then today I just had to text him and it went like this... and that was the last on communication between us.Me:Thinking about you. I just wanted to tell you I hope you have a good day and I truly miss you.I hope that's okHim:Thank you. I hope you have a great day too. :)Me: thank you :)