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I'm experiencing severe anxiety and depression. In the last

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I'm experiencing severe anxiety and...
I'm experiencing severe anxiety and depression. In the last year my father died, my family disowned me, my marriage broke up, and my husband left me completely broke. I've fought to come through this but things haven't gotten better. I've lost or am losing everything I love. Two days ago I put my Dog down due to old age. My other dog is only 8 and has cancer so it's a matter of time. I feel like when he's gone it should be the end for me too. I am completely alone.
Submitted: 4 months ago.Category: Mental Health
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7/25/2017
Mental Health Professional: LeahMSWuofm, Clinical Social Worker replied 4 months ago
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm, Clinical Social Worker
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 742
Experience: 10 years post-MSW experience
Verified

Hi, you are NOT alone. People are ready to support you. I am so sorry to hear about all these losses. Are you contemplating or thinking about hurting yourself? I am here to chat...

-Leah

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Customer reply replied 4 months ago
I'm not going to probably start planning until my German Shepherd passes. I've been through so much in the last 5 years but I can't be strong anymore. All I could think about when my Lab was put down was why they didn't have a needle for me when I've had enough. I'm tired of fake friends who see my life as interesting because their bored. I would love a boring family life or having a family. My last relationship ended badly and he's been harassing me off and on. He was the one who decided to leave but when he had to deal with the consequences, I paid for it. I'm just tired. I'll never trust anyone again. There isn't enough left of my heart to give to anyone. The guys I do know just want to flirt or have sex. Once someone gets what they want from me I don't exist.
Mental Health Professional: LeahMSWuofm, Clinical Social Worker replied 4 months ago

I am really sorry. It sounds like you have been burned a lot and you just can't envision another emotional blow. And I know it may be trivial to hear at this time given everything you have been through, but you have survived so much already. This is absolute proof of your strength and giving up would be such a waste of all tat energy you have invested in surviving this far. Despair, depression and anxiety leave little room for optimism but hopefully, you can muster up enough of that resilience to think that things can;t possibly stay this low. There is almost always a rebound and while it can be trying, exhausting and disheartening to wait, you have already proved more then once that you can survive.

What kind of support system do you have to help you through? Are you being treated for depression and anxiety right now with meds and/or counseling??

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Customer reply replied 4 months ago
No. I don't want to go back to my family doctor. He not comfortable giving medication and since my Dad died my brother has went to him for treatment. So the last time I went to see the doctor he treated me horribly so I didn't bother asking for help. I used to live in a small town and my brother blamed me for the mess my Dads estate was in. My brother told the doctor about all the stress he was having so that's why I got that reaction. I'm at the point where I hate going anywhere and can't leave the house. My ex got physically abusive when I got a lawyer and asked for a settlement. It's been over a year and I'm still dealing with him. The only thing that keeps me going is my pets. As for counselling, my work only pays for so many sessions and to tell me to do breathing exercises and have coffee with a friend or take a bubble bath doesn't help me a whole lot then or now. I'm having trouble asking for help I just don't want to leave the bedroom. Other than getting pet food or taking care of the cats or my Shepherd I'm not comfortable doing anything.
Customer reply replied 4 months ago
As for a support system my family wants nothing to do with me. As for friends the ones who know what I've been through they don't know what to do so I stopped sharing with them. I fought really hard last fall not to end it all. I was broke, had no food sometimes and was having 3 or 4 panic attacks but I managed to go to work. I thought when I got to this point I'd be ok. But it just stays the same or gets worse. I've tried but the more I try the worse it is.
Mental Health Professional: LeahMSWuofm, Clinical Social Worker replied 4 months ago

I hear you. Part of the battle with depression is finding ways to push through the urge to stay away from life. Depression also finds a way to make possible solutions seem meaningless, purposeless or not worth the effort, Finding a new doctor or seeing a specialist would be conceivable. Sounds like you need to hook up with a new doc anyway!! And counseling - some sessions can be better than none. i actually was just reading about how a lot of progress with cognitive behavioral therapy can be shown in the earliest phases of treatment. But if those things really don't seem like commitments right now, then focusing on getting exercise, ample rest, and a decent diet cannot be understated in terms of importance and value.

As far as your supports, I am sorry to hear your family hasn;t been a suipport to you. And while friends don't always know what to say, distancing yourslef and isolating is a natural course when depressed or anxious but doesn't really help. So maybe, just maybe, yu could focus on one small thing at a time and reach out to a friend? To this point, think small!! Thinking about how everything is horrible makes life seem overwhelming.

As far as fighting, again, you can continue to fight because your inner strength is huge! Can you start to think of ways to redefine yourself? Can you envision ways to engage with life that allow you to regain some purpose? Can you push to open yourself back up to things that used to make you happy before the rug got pulled out? What about adopting a foster dog? What about engaging in some volunteer work to socialize and also get some natural good vibes going? How about doing something novel like taking a class or joining a club? I don't mean to sound trivial but these are the things that really can make the difference between turning things around or allowing yourself to waste away. You still have a lot to give even if means redefining how and who you give it to.

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Mental Health Professional: LeahMSWuofm, Clinical Social Worker replied 4 months ago

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

tel:1-***-***-****

Someone is always there to help you 24/7/365.

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Mental Health Professional: LeahMSWuofm, Clinical Social Worker replied 4 months ago

Hi :) I just wanted to offer yo keep this conversation going, maybe tomorrow, if you are up for it. I hope to hear back from you and am certainly here to support you if I can.

-Leah

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Mental Health Professional: LeahMSWuofm, Clinical Social Worker replied 4 months ago

Hi! I wanted to check back today since this question will stay open until rated. Can you let me know if you could use additional support or info? If not, I'd appreciate a rating and would love to hear back from you.

Thanks,

Leah

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Mental Health Professional: LeahMSWuofm, Clinical Social Worker replied 4 months ago

Hey there, my last try and I won't bug you again if you don't feel like talking but i did want to see how are you doing. Feeling any better?

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