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John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC)
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 573
Experience:  25+ years helping people find solutions...
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Second time I have sent this question,our 22 year old

Customer Question

Second time I have sent this question,our 22 year old daughter recently got engaged, he father and I asked, could they please wait a2years until her law degree is finished...long story short, she screamed and yelled at us her fisnce punched my young son in the face and just recently every thing was good we all started speaking again, until she wanted to meet her brother, and he want to meet her but due to floods that couldn't, the other day she message us to say she will never come home and never wants to see her family again, and all this problem was my fault...
JA: Have you seen a doctor about this yet? What medications are you taking?
Customer: The doctor put me in Serentine, I just need to know how can we communicate with her again..
JA: Anything else in your medical history you think the psychologist should know?
Customer: No nothing we have never had a problem like this..
Submitted: 3 months ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  John-Michaels replied 3 months ago.
Though your advice was probably good advice, as they say, love is blind. The reason we raise our children is to let them go and get that is the hardest task we are asked to do. It sounds like both sides owe and deserve some apologies. You, maybe for interfering, them definitely for overreacting (the punch to the face concerns me). All you control is your moves though. If you wish to have a relationship with your daughter and her fiancé you need to unequivocally apologize and offer your blessing. The rest of the family needs to follow suit, but you can only control yourself. Does that make sense?
Customer: replied 3 months ago.
it does ,but the fiancé is saying he has done nothing wrong we are all lying about the punch we are/ were a very close family unit and sadly he never had that and to him all he needs is our daughter and no one else
Expert:  John-Michaels replied 3 months ago.
No offense, but he sounds like a jerk. Once again though, you can only control your actions, not his response. You have done your part. You have apologized. Now let it go. Maybe call together the rest of the family and explain your strategy. Let them know the physical violence will not be allowed in the future. If any punches are thrown, The police will be called. Your daughter has made her choice. The more you confront her, the more steadfast she will be in their choice. My experience tells me that in time she's going to come around, with or without him. Your job now is to not burn the bridge. I really do hope your family finds peace. Let me know if there is anything else I can do.
Customer: replied 3 months ago.
Thank you Thankyou ,I will speak with my family and do as you say..
Expert:  John-Michaels replied 3 months ago.

Your welcome! I am glad I could help. I hope you will rate me so I receive credit for my answer. Let me know if you need further help