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Ask Dr. Kaushik Your Own Question
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4635
Experience:  MD Psychiatry
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For as as I can remember, Ive struggled with body odor. I

Customer Question

For as long as I can remember, Ive struggled with body odor. I had overactive sweat glands which contributed to the problem.I had managed to get the sweating under control, but sometimes, when under pressure or stress, the sweating increases and produces a misty smell.On top of that, I have recurring BV, which produces a fishy odor during sex. That can be treated with antibiotic, but when it happens it makes me feel insecure.Just yesterday, after work, I went to my boyfriend's house following work. We watched tv for a while, right before we got physical, he stopped everything and asks, "what the hell is that smell?"I had showered that morning, so I didnt think I had any issues... This is second or third time he has pointed it out, saying its a turn off anf it makes him want to stop what he's doing. I have had multiple people walk away from me because of the problem... although I stay on top of my hygiene, body odor still is a problem for me.After my boyfriend's response, I cried amf wr haf an argument because i explained to him all that I had been through in my past... he broke up with me because he says he cant be sensitive to my insecurities or wants.This really effects my personal life... I'm very sensitive and insecure about body odor...Did I overreact to his reaction?
How can I get past this?
How do I move forward and let all that I've been through go?
Submitted: 6 months ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Kaushik replied 6 months ago.
Welcome to the site.
I am sorry to learn about your situation and I empathize with you.
Well, first of all I feel breaking off with someone because of body odour seems quite an over-reaction in itself and your ex showed that he surely lacked empathy and understanding towards you. He should have understood long before that you are extremely sensitive about your body odour anx therefore he should have refrained from hurting your sentiments over this issue. So, in all fairness he was the one who over-reacted and not you.
So absolve yourself of this unnecessary guilt that you have been carrying for you did nothing wrong, he should have been more accommodating, understanding and supportive since body odour is not in any one's hand and you have been trying very hard to overcome it. I think this argument unleashed his true colours and in a way the break up would have happened eventually if not this time because he seemed not to care much about your emotions and sensitivity.
I believe you should consider this break up as an opportunity to discover self and feel more confident about your persona and try to bury your complexes deep down and go about your life as usual. Have faith and keep hope alive to find someone special who accepts you for who you are and tries to accomodate you with your shortcomings , the way you would do for him.
So the relationship with your ex was not meant to be , consider it as a closed chapter and try to move on in life with full confidence and zeal, I am sure your positivity will rub onto others and it will fetch you a beautiful partner to spend your life with.
If you are finding self distracted from your daily routine by this break up then try to immerse yourself in work, do regular exercise and walk as it releases Endorphins which is a feel good chemical, share your thoughts with a close genuine confidante or friends so as to unburden your self from the emotional baggage, spare some time for doing fun activities everyday, do relaxation or yoga to achieve tranquility.
I hope this helps you to move on in life as you just need a push and thereafter you will manage on your own.
Wish you all the best.
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