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Thanks for reading! Background: Anxiety & adhd, slight ocd

Hi, thanks for reading! Background: Anxiety...
Hi, thanks for reading!
Background: Anxiety & adhd, slight ocd (my mom has severe) and recovered bulimic & rape survivor. Wow, that sounds really bad as I've never written that all out. I've always been 'the favorite' excelled in school. I also always excelled at work, then become frustrated and get fired or laid off or my favorite: I get 'chosen' or rewarded for my great work with the failing role or failing clients.
Current: Lost 2 jobs back 2 back. Most recent company relocated me from NYC. Lack of jobs & low pay, I'll likely have to relocate (back) to NYC from Fl. Logistically, I'm at my parents in Philly so I can readily interview NYC and Philly.
I'm in tech sales working in volatile startups... So it's not completely a shock. I'm open to new areas & have networked but am not following through- almost paralyzed by fear or something... I'm also 31 & single, so potential to meet a partner etc is also weighing on me.
I've taken personality tests & I am suited for sales as, ESFJ.
I've also scored high for depression and anxiety and very highly for stress.
I'm back on Birth control to help stabilize my hormones & have buspirone (don't take it).
I workout intermittently and am commuting to NYC 1/2 marathon this March (my birthday). I've recently began practicing yoga.
I know what I need to do, am still interacting with family and friends daily, but am struggling to kick my ass into gear...and go for days without showering or leaving the house.
Is there something I'm missing for a quick fix to rally and pull through or has it just been too much, so I'm shutting down to protect myself?
I feel like:
1. I want to run away from my life
2. I'm terrified that I'll land then the shoe will inevitably drop again
3. That I'm constantly waiting for my life to start
I'm thankful to have found this resource as I've searched (unsuccessfully) for many free support or Meetup groups.
I look forward to your response and am hopeful you can help me.
Thank you,
Bruised not broken
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Customer reply replied 10 months ago
This was written last night...I just was caught renting my Tampa condo on Airbnb by the owner & have given my notice and will be moving in temporarily with my parents Philadelphia (totally dysfunctional household) mom(ocd), brother (depressed), uncle(bipolar recovered addict), dad (the glue).At this juncture, it seems like the only logical choice..Having lived through this (job loss) recently (2015 then again 5/2016 then most recently 9/2016) I'm really struggling with:
1. Motivation to take action
2. My eating & weight control
3. Feeling hopeless
Answered in 32 minutes by:
1/5/2017
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm, Clinical Social Worker
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 722
Experience: 10 years post-MSW experience
Verified

Hi, thanks for writing to us. My name is***** am sorry you are finding yourself feeling stagnant, down and apprehensive, I think this makes sense given the recent losses at work and all that usually comes with not working as well as just general jitters about time and the future, etc. What stands out to me when I read your statement were tones of depression. You validated this directly noting you scored high on a depression screen. Depression can be consuming and smothering and draining. And it often requires treatment. Have you ever tried an anti-depressant medication? How about therapy?

I look forward to talking to you,

Leah

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Customer reply replied 10 months ago
Hi Leah, appreciate the quick response. I haven't been on anti-depression meds since high school. I've thought that it was situational & that once the circumstances changed and I regained stability- personal, professionally & financially that I would feel better.I've had lots of successes the past year: new jobs, completed a tough mudder, attended weddings and reconnected with old friends.I guess you're accurate in that I haven't felt 'happiness' in quite some time... Likely before my breakup & job loss in 10/2015.My friend (and previous ex 2014) is a psychiatrist and never thought I needed meds.. Just the buspirone.As I recall, I have been very tired, irratible, lack of sex drive and overall lack of interest in things I previously enjoyed. I plan on seeing a regular therapist & psychiatrist once I'm back to work.

Hi, thanks for your reply as well. So you have a lot to celebrate (!) but still aren't feeling hopeful or motivated. Depression could be to blame for this - feeling hopeless, unmotivated, discounting good things that have happened, feeling worried, etc. are symptoms of depression. Depression may also affect your sleep, your eating, libido, irritability/agitation, ups and downs in daily mood, fatigue, poor memory, poor concentration, restlessness, and feeling like nothing brings you pleasure or joy right now. So it sounds like a med may REALLY help you. Sometimes people super close to us aren't the best to make calls about our moods although of course, I wouldn't completely discount your ex's opinion and may seek an addiotnal one outside of mine . And a therapist, There is nothing like getting in with someone who is just there to help hold your hand as you navigate life. If you are willing to consider it, especially starting back of in Philly, take a look here to see if anyone looks worthy of an interview... http://therapists.psychologytoday.com

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Hi, I noted this question is still open and wanted to see if i could help you further? If so write me back. If not, I'd appreciate a rating for my time. Rating me won't affect your amount already paid but is the only way I'll be credited for my time.

Thanks!!

-Leah

LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm, Clinical Social Worker
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 722
Experience: 10 years post-MSW experience
Verified
LeahMSWuofm and 87 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
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Customer reply replied 9 months ago
Hi Leah, appreciate the follow up. Your response was quite generic and not helpful as I mentioned, I am currently unemployed and do not have health insurance, so I was looking for alternative solutions to gain the necessary motivation to pull myself out of this.
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LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm, Clinical Social Worker
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 722
722 Satisfied Customers
Experience: 10 years post-MSW experience

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