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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1378
Experience:  Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
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My wife is an alcoholic and I am a classic enabler. I care

Customer Question

My wife is an alcoholic and I am a classic enabler. I care deeply for her and want to honor my vows but she is incredibly defensive about even the smallest thing, so trying to tackle such a topic seems lik light years away from me. But I can't go on living in a relationship like this. What steps can I take?
Submitted: 7 months ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 7 months ago.

Thanks for being so open. Have you thought about going to a group such as Al Anon to get some support? In addition to that it sounds like you have have gotten to the point where things need to change and step out of the enabling role...al anon also helps with seeing those patterns and finding new ways to relate. One of the hardest things for a family member to do is to set a boundary for themselves and stick to it. Is your boundary that if she doesn't get treatment then the marriage is over? If so, what is your fer around setting that boundary for yourself?