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I did a no no and tried to look up articles about what I

have and how pure O...
I did a no no and tried to look up articles about what I have and how pure O can sometimes be misdiagnosed as pedophila! Well I read a comment where one person says even if they've had these thoughts I still wouldn't let them be with my kids! Am I safe to be around kids?!? I don't see them that way!! I face timed my nephew and didn't see anything other then him being my nephew and a kid? How would a p feel? I know I'm not one! I see kids for kids!! That's why that comment got to me!
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Answered in 12 minutes by:
11/14/2016
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm, Clinical Social Worker
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 722
Experience: 10 years post-MSW experience
Verified
Unfortunately, the person who said that was simply ignorant. They don't understand the distinguishing between worries about this condition and actually having the condition. Pedophiles seek out ways to engage with and harm underage people for their own personal gain. They seek satisfaction from pedophilia. They don't think question it over and over.
Remember, rumination over this biased, ignorant and just plain wrong comment is just another example of a thought you need to let go of. It was a meaningless comment and you need to not let it wreak havoc on your self-esteem or awareness and acceptance of your condition. You know the truth. You know you're not a pedophile. You know you don't look at children and wonder about ways to engage with them in an inappropriate manner. You're just a normal a normal person with some ugly lies trapped inside your head. Keep letting those thoughts go, one at a time, one day at a time.
Thanks for requesting me,
Leah
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm, Clinical Social Worker
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 722
Experience: 10 years post-MSW experience
Verified
LeahMSWuofm and 87 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
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Customer reply replied 1 year ago
I wouldn't be asking what if questions would I or saying no no no every time a thought comes up in my head if I were one huh!
Customer reply replied 1 year ago
What should I tell my psychologist when I see them the first time? Should I tell them everything!? I've been writing what I've been thinking down and that helps should I give them my journal! I've noticed some repetitive thoughts when I reread it.

Thank you for the positive rating and bonus :). Correct - you are not a pedophile an thinking about being one does not make you one. However, your engagement in this "compulsion" to keep comparing yourself to a true pedophile is exactly what we would want you to avoid doing. I get that it is so hard not to seek out this information as your brain is simply spinning and uncertainty is causing you to seek concrete. But that is the OCD driving you and we want you to stop empowering the OCD to any extent. So no more Googling, no more fact-checking, no more contemplating of the differences between you and a true pedophile. Instead, acceptance, calm, sticking to routines, even when challenging, and just letting the thoughts come and go without taking any action against them.

Hopefully you have selected a psychologist that has experience treating OCD, ideally through ERP. If so, then they have treated others with OCD and have respect and knowledge about your condition. And as you must note from your own searching of info, there is no shortage of others who suffer from OCD so spilling your guts to them about how you feel, how often you feel it, how intensely you feel it, and how you react to it is the basis for them to formulate a plan to best help you and nothing you say will surprise them. So just as you have been up front and honest with me, you'll be asked to do the same with them and they will help guide you through the tough parts. You can do it!! Just remember, while it seems novel and terrible, this is a well-know condition in the mental health community and therapists are trained to be empathetic, non-judgmental, safe people who you can share your life with, so take a deep breath, and let them know about you as openly and honestly and they will support you and your journey.

-Leah

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Customer reply replied 1 year ago
It is hard. And what you said about what they do I now question myself well do I do that then I have to remind myself no I see them as just kids! I did before the thought and now! But a part of me is always checking. I hate that part about myself. I cried myself to sleep and can't focus today.
Customer reply replied 1 year ago
My mind is trying to make me think that I want to think those thoughts and them and that I wanted to think the earlier thoughts but I didn't. They just pop up at random and I can't help it! It's not like I sit and blantantly think and I never want to do that! But my mind is making me think that I do! What can I tell my mind that that's not the case?
Customer reply replied 1 year ago
I was watching my favorite tv show this afternoon and it had a couple on there kissing and I was you know day dreaming about whenever that could be me but I don't know if my mind played tricks on me or if I'm overthinking but I can't remember if I pictured myself kissing an adult or kid. I'm remember being anxious and now I'm scared because I don't remember! I think it was an adult but now I'm not sure I hate this! Then I was holding my hands to my face and I thought of me kissing a child. Almost like I wanted it but I didn't! I immediately said stop stop stop over and over! I don't want these thoughts!! Why won't they stop!?!

Remember, the only thing to do with these thoughts is learn to accept that they are there and meaningless. That will free their grip, once you get to that point, and it doesn't happen overnight so be patient and kind to yourself. Right now, you are not yet fully accepting the fact that you have OCD and these unwanted intrusive thoughts are currently part of your day. I can't express enough that the allowance of your brain to overthink, question, prove wrong, test, and doubt these things is the trap. Of course you weren't' daydreaming about making out with a child. But the second you start to overthink it, it gets called in to question. When that initial tinge of doubt popped in, you needed to just let if go without turning it into something that got your mind wondering at all.

Sadly but honestly, part of the reasons these thoughts won't stop is because you are letting them control you even though they are completely meaningless and invalid. You are paying a huge amount of attention to them right now. Remember, this is a battle that you can only win by not acting towards those thoughts. While I absolutely appreciate helping and reminding you of this, even writing to me here, especially about every blip in the day, is a compulsion and is completely reinforcing this disorder.

We have talked in previous posts about what you can tell your mind when a thought pops up. What simple phrase would you like to say to your OCD, that is non-judgmental and easy and feels right to you? Something like, "Hey OCD. You're not bringing me down today." Can you come up with one?

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Customer reply replied 1 year ago
It's not me...its my OCD! It's just a lie and I'm not going to dwell on it anymore! Anything like that to get me to my appointment in December? I guess I can think I'm getting help and I'm going to beat you! You won't control my life forever you've had 4 years of control I'm taking my life!!
Customer reply replied 1 year ago
I also found acting like I'm boxing OCD to black eyes and bruises helps! Kickboxing! I'm done letting it control my life!! I've had it since 2009ish just different forms related to news stories but I will NOT LET IT CONTROL ME ANYMORE!! ELISE IT WILL TAKE TIME BUT WE'RE GETTING HELP AND WE WILL GET BETTER WE MUST GET BETTER!! That way you can be the teacher you want to be!! That way you can be the aunt and sister you want to be!! That way you can be the daughter you want to be!! Say this to myself everyday I will believe it!!

Yes!! Kickbox the helk out of that OCD and knock it out!! You got this!!!!!

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LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm, Clinical Social Worker
Category: Mental Health
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