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TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 3441
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker.
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You were right it not only happened once it happened twice.

Customer Question

you were right it not only happened once it happened twice. he was very distant we werent as close as before . after that happened so i went to talk to him and he got drunk and we ended hooking up again, not only once but twice last time we said no more of this. and we agreed it wasnt going to happen again. he told me he is super busy with school and thats why he doesnt hang out as much now plus he has his girlfriend, so i took very personal and felt like he was using school as an excuse,i also been having a lot of issues in my house and i wanted my bestfriend to be there, and i though that we made an agreement of whatever that happened wasnt going to affect our friendship so i took it personal i dont know is school is just an excuse, i really wanted to end this friendship but for some reason i cant! so he is pretty much bug with me right now, i told him you were a shitty friend because when i most needed you you totally ignore man, and he told me that im needy and then it looks like were are dating that i need to stop being such a girl, so itold him man i know i am been a dramatic bitch but you are an asshole. man im going on vacation and you are not going to see me for 2 months, when i come back i'm willing to start over without drama but if you dont want to man i delete your number right now and all your information because i am done. and he said that we can still be friend but not as before, so im like we can be friends as before because i am telling you im done with this drama and i really care about our friendship so he agreed to hangout with me when i come back. my question is i know that i am obsess with this guy. but if im such a pain in the ass why he keeps saying that we can still be friend. whats the deal?? maybe when i leave on vacation i can sop talking to him and leave this obssesion i dont know whats deal maybe because what happened i feel like i needed him in my life?. if i bug so much why he keep leaving that door open. it would much easier for me to him just say im done with you and this time for real. but he doesnt give me a closure, and i know if he tells me im done i will stop. i know i have issues hehe. thanks!
Submitted: 9 months ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 9 months ago.

Why does he keep you around? Because some people enjoy this back and forth and the game playing. You also have been very available to him so why not want to keep the friendship? It becomes about when you are ready to step out of it and not go back if that is what you truly might enjoy it all too and that's okay. Just firgure out what you really want from it all and make that happen.

Customer: replied 9 months ago.
apparently i do because i cant get out of this . what do you mean being available?
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 9 months ago.

you stay around and keep it all going and are involved with him when he wants and needs.

Customer: replied 9 months ago.
well i dont want to stop talking to him. but crearly he is playing this game with me. so you are saying he wants to keep me around in case he feels sleeping with a guy again? even do he said in his own words i'm done doing this shit with you. im trying to understand what is his deal. i/m sorry is just that you are the only one i can talk about this stuff
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 9 months ago.

yes I think he desires to be with you at times and then maybe freaks out, gets nervous and the drama takes place.

Customer: replied 9 months ago.
im just going to give him his space. clearly we both like what happened it happened so many times, but i do really miss the friensdhip we used to have before all that happen. i think is time for me to think in another people and go back to my own life. what this story i just feel like i was dating a guy wit hso many fights, this was all new for me, i really don feel like go and check with other guys it was just with him. i really hope this is the end of this story, thank you for be with me in this weird journey i had this year
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 9 months ago.

I am happy to help you though the journey at any time. I think giving space will be good and it will allow both of you some time to get some clarity and figure out what you both truly want.

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 9 months ago.

Please take a moment to click the rating stars and I am here again if you need.

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 9 months ago.

If you could take care of the rating so I can be credited for my time, I would appreciate it. Thanks.

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 9 months ago.

I am hoping you can provide a rating as I am not credited for my time without it. Thanks.