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DocPhilMD
DocPhilMD, Doctor
Category: Mental Health
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Experience:  Mental Health Expert
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My son was an academic achiever in high school. He wanted to

Customer Question

My son was an academic achiever in high school. He wanted to attend an ivy university. He managed to get into a top school (just below Ivy).
He was a good kid in HS. He did not party at all. He was obsessed with his grades and doing well.
Now he half way through his first semester and it's a disaster. He has received citations for alcohol and is failing two classes. He doesn't want to study and feels college shld be the best time in life and doesn't want to do all the work needed.
Some background: He didn't not engage during the college admittance process. I had to force him to write essays, select schools to apply to etc. He wanted me to pick his college and select his classes.
He didn't register for dorm until late. He didn't want to discuss going away to colllege
Now he wants to transfer to a more relaxed environment. He doesn't want to work too hard.
I don't know what problem to solve first. The immaturity and partying issue, the failing grades or the new request to transfer.
What's going on with him? It's unusual behavior.
Submitted: 11 months ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  DocPhilMD replied 11 months ago.

Hi, this is Dr Phil, here to assist you. I am Board Certified with over 10 years of experience. I will respond with my answer shortly. Thank you.

Expert:  DocPhilMD replied 11 months ago.

how far away from home is he now?

where does he want to transfer?

Customer: replied 11 months ago.
He's 7 hours away by car
He wants to transfer to CA --3000 miles away. He wants a school that's less demanding.
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
He always showed us signs of heavy partying as though he was proud of his goofing off. He didn't start to study until two weeks ago and he's fallen behind. He seems to value his friends and hanging out a great deal more than being at a fine institution.
Expert:  DocPhilMD replied 11 months ago.

I think that is a horrible idea.

I think you should bring him home to a community college to prove himself and show you he can buckle down.

then maybe off to another school

Customer: replied 11 months ago.
I paid for a more extensive response. Your response doesn't address what may be going on. What would cause a studious kid to suddenly behave differently once he got to college? Why was he not engaged in the process? Was he not ready for college?
Expert:  DocPhilMD replied 11 months ago.

There are underlying mental health issues for sure

depression, anxiety

Usually partying like this is self medicating for something

I think he should see a counselor as well

you can always ask follow up questions if you need more help

Customer: replied 11 months ago.
What's the next step to get additional information? My next question is what would be the possible causes for the depression or anxiety?
Expert:  DocPhilMD replied 11 months ago.

There are not really any causes of depression and anxiety per se. Certain individuals brains are just wired this way.

Customer: replied 11 months ago.
are you recommending therapy, medication?
Expert:  DocPhilMD replied 11 months ago.

both.

the studies show that they both work but the combination is better than the separate parts

Expert:  DocPhilMD replied 11 months ago.

Thanks for this question.

Please don't forget a positive rating. I appreciate it. :)

If you have more questions, just reply.