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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1379
Experience:  Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
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OKMH1019211 Psychiatrist - I am too often exhausted, even

Customer Question

OKMH1019211 Psychiatrist -
I am too often exhausted, even wonder if I can walk to make it home, sometimes too tired to even get up for instance to turn the a c up/ or down so I sit in discomfort . I know part of its because I am old, overweight, but I suspect that more of this exhaustion is emotional. I am angry so much of the time - at my son''s at my husband - at myself most of all . I don't kick them all out because its to my advantage to have them here - money, a helping hand from my son's sometimes, not often. Of course enough money to live independent of them would be The solution - I do not have that choice. I am trying to convince myself that its ok like this but , it is not . My life is so much better than most of the world - I try to think along these lines . Our adopted daughters accused my spouse, their adopted dad, of sexual abuse. He took a lie detector test , polygraph, did not pass but I know that is not definitely conclusive . Of course he denies it totally.. I live with doubt daily. So far what I have found is that I will never know for sure , as I see this situation. I think I am waiting , holding my breath , that there will be some thing happen to clearly tell me yes, or no. I feel like my life is so screwed up , like its been such a waste. Everything I thought was good , thought that I did right, seems to have been wrong. There is no magic pill to take , right ? Also, what is a ''mental health professional '' ?
I did request to deal with a psychiatrist .
Submitted: 10 months ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  khagihara replied 10 months ago.

Do you sleep well? Did you lose interest in things which you used to be interested in? Do you feel guilty? Do you feel tired? Are you depressed? Can you concentrate? How is your appetite? Do you see or hear things which people around you can't see or hear? Do you want to try to take your own life? Any medical problems? Any surgeries? Any medications? Any family medical history including mental diseases?

Customer: replied 10 months ago.
Dr Khagihara, are you a psychiatrist ?
Expert:  khagihara replied 10 months ago.

Yes, I am.

Customer: replied 10 months ago.
Good, I have so many questions I would like answered, I will need to post them separately to be fair to you. I should have been an anthropologist I think - the blazing issue now is the trust/ lack of trust factor with my spouse and the accusations of sexual abuse from our adopted daughters. I can not get past that. I don't believe them but I don't believe him either and I am truly haunted with this issue. My past does not help me in this. My first husband did sexually molest a child who was in my care, I divorced him of course, then my son in law molested one of our grand children, of course my daughter divorced him also, then now this has come into my life. I am furious beyond words , beyond reason, at the daughters who made these accusations, but also furious at my first husband, my son in law, Truth is if I could kill them I would. They are already dead but my hate for them is not. I tried Zoloft, Prozak, Valium, over my life and they worked for the time being over the rough spots, I thought I was free then these adopted daughters came up with their accusations against their adopted dad , my present husband. I understand there is no way for me to definitively verify one way or the other whether or not my husband is innocent or guilty. I have made the choice to continue to live with him but its really killing me , again I am furious beyond words at the adopted daughters - if this was a reality and they did not tell me at the time, they lied by omission. They were all seeing a child psychiatrist all of their lives with us off and on that we had as family council for our children . That psychiatrist was consulted, by me, and he was shocked also . He told me that at no time was he suspect of any misdoings on the part of my spouse or anybody else, that there was no indication, zero indications of any sexual abuse or any other abuse. Still it haunts me. I don't want to go back on drugs, I would love to just swim out of this whirl pool but I can not, My husband is also my best friend now, a financial mainstay also , and a nice man. I realize that he also could be guilty. This does truly haunt me. I hate it . I refuse sex with my husband because this is always in my thoughts
Expert:  khagihara replied 10 months ago.

Will you ask him about it? What is the reason you don't take any drugs to calm you down?

Customer: replied 9 months ago.
I am calm. Always calm. I have taken drugs over my life - don't like to , never found this route very helpful long term. I have asked him about this but that is a dead end. No One is going to tell the truth and even if they did, no one would believe them. My first husband admitted his doing with the child when I confronted him but this situation is totally different, Both daughters waited years after they and left the house to make these accusations - I don't believe them but I do, I don't believe him either but I can't imagine that anybody would be so stupid to do such things and think they could get away with it. Still - I know very well that this is exactly what many men do . My son in law for instance. It would be a waste of time for me to ask anything again - I wouldn't and don't believe either way of anything he could say . I realize that I shall never know the reality, not from him and not from my estranged daughters , and that I have no choice but to live with this. Financially I would be a fool to divorce my spouse at this point, it would only make my life difficult , perhaps even precarious. I would if I had endless funds to survive on. I would divorce my spouse. I know I shall never speak to either of my daughters again. Never. Either they lied to me while they claim this was happening, by omission , by omitting the truth, or they have lied later years in making these accusations. Either way, my daughters have lied to me so its a question of which lies you want to believe. I choose not to choose and have shut them out of my life . I would do the same with my spouse but it would cause me serious financial hardship even to losing my house. He often works out of Miami so is gone - he was just 2 months in California and now again is away in northern Florida this time but for a week or so . This is one hell of a nightmare to be living in . I actually suspect that because my daughters knew very well how traumatic it was for me to find my first husband was sexually abusive to a child - I left that one on the same day I found out - and then when my son in law molested a grand daughter, I suspect that my daughters , knowing that this is the worst thing they could say or do to me, that they made up their story . I actually do think that this is a definite possibility . Anyway, I know there is no resolution for me unless I win the lottery and I don't even play it so so so so . I know I have to live out my days with this knife in my mind and I hate my daughters for doing this - more than hate them. I realize there is no help to be had for me. As for taking drugs ? I eat well, sleep well, I love waking up to delicious coffee and my beloved little dogs, I love waking up alive , so why drugs ? They will not give me the answer that I can never have to know the truth. Thanks for responding though. When I was working , Pan American World Airways Inc , for 40 years, I went through a time of being terrified to fly, got fat over 200 pounds, and went to our Pan Am psychiatrist. I did take valium, did as he suggested, and in not so long, I lost 75 pounds and was totally over my fear of flight -- that he was a sublimation for me. I also divorced my husband back then and was free to live a decent life - until this recurring nightmare again with the same shit about sexually molesting a kid but this time another husband . Yeah, I am angry. But ok. I can't even really find the energy to waste on being angry with any of them - really. Rather, I find them pathetic , the loss is theirs not mine here. They lost a loving , mom for life . Bye and thanks, Gina
Customer: replied 9 months ago.
The stars would not respond to me to give you a rating and thank you for your time. Gina

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