My wife was treated as a princess in her house as kid. Anything she said as a kid was command for her father and would be fulfilled at all cost. When her siblings were born, she felt very sad
and till date she tells she wanted to be the only child and would only have one child therefore (now we have one). Even after her siblings were born, she remained the princess of the house and all were at her beck and call. Also she is a perfectionist and very lazy and always late for everything.
This causes some problems for me and my daughter now.
1. She wants my daughter's school to treat our daughter special and gets very angry if they tell that some rules can't be broken or our daughter can't get special treatment. Since no school can meet that requirement, she ends up wanting to change school all the time, which is not practical
2. She has anger problem. If someone does not treat her special and with utmost care and politeness, she gets very very stressed, angry and leaves that situation. This is bad for her career.
3. We also have some intimacy problem as she wants to be doing nothing for me
Problem is telling a princess that there is a problem she has is extreemely difficult without causing her to explode with anger and reject me and run away from situation.
Question: What way do you recommend to let her realize that this approach is not functional and not in her best interest in long run ?