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Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 329
Experience:  Owner and Psychotherapist at Self-Employed, Private Practice
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I just found out that m 21 year old son cheated on his

Customer Question

I just found out that m 21 year old son cheated on his girlfriend of almost 2 years. He lied to myself, my husband, his brother, and of course his ex girlfriend. I'm heartbroken that he could continue to lie to us about the situation for almost 24 hours even when we clearly had evidence that he did cheat. His father who he does not have a relationship any longer is a pathological liar and constantly would feel sorry for himself. I saw that behavior come out in my son this week. He's been seeing a licensed therapist for almost a year now. Obviously, he needs more help or maybe a different therapist. I'm heartbroken and I don't want my son to be a liar or a cheater. Why is he like this and what can I do to help him?
Submitted: 9 months ago.
Category: Mental Health
Customer: replied 9 months ago.
Also, is it foolish to hope that the girl would ever forgive him and go back to him?
Expert:  DocPhilMD replied 9 months ago.

Hi, this is Dr Phil, here to assist you. I am Board Certified with over 10 years of experience. I will respond with my answer shortly. Thank you.

Expert:  DocPhilMD replied 9 months ago.

do we know why he cheated?

Customer: replied 9 months ago.
He does not know why he did it or at least that is what he says. He is very regretful and says he wasn't thinking long term and was only thinking in the moment.
Expert:  DocPhilMD replied 9 months ago.

does he have depression or anxiety?

Expert:  DocPhilMD replied 9 months ago.

just click send to reply

Customer: replied 9 months ago.
No, he does not appear to have any signs of either
Expert:  Therapist Leslie replied 9 months ago.

Good evening, Susan, and thank you so much for your message. I realize it's difficult to reach out. Please know I honor your courage.

My name is ***** ***** I am a psychotherapist in the Metro Boston area.

I am so sorry to hear about the decisions your son has made. As a parent, it truly aches when our children make poor decisions, doesn't it? My heart aches for you as I imagine you have worked hard to install a strong moral compass and solid decision-making.

I am pleased to hear your son is working on himself through therapy. This is good news. I would encourage him to discuss this situation with his therapist and be honest and open with him/her. I don't think he necessarily needs to change therapists--the most important part of therapy's effectiveness is working with a therapist who the client feels most comfortable with. Also, he is the one who needs to want to make change and be better.

Since your son is over age 18, you sadly can't speak with his therapist without a written consent from your son. You can, however, write a letter to the therapist voicing your concern over recent events.

I would also very gently discuss this situation with your son--your sadness over decisions made around his relationship and see if there is any way you can assist. I would also let him know you are available in anyway he needs. Sadly, beyond that there is not much that you can do as he is an adult and obviously makes his own choices.

Again, I am so sorry, Susan. This truly is a difficult situation.

Have I answered your question? Is there anything else I can do to assist you further? I want to ensure you are pleased with my service. I also gently request you provide a star rating for me. Of course, we can continue to talk after the rating is provided.

Please take good care of yourself and feel free to contact me with any questions you may have.

Warm regards,

Therapist Leslie