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Linda D.
Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 669
Experience:  LMSW, CASAC
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I am having concerns about my brother. This is a bit of a

Customer Question

I am having concerns about my brother. This is a bit of a complex issue so I'm going to try my best to explain thoroughly... My brother has a lot of behaviors that are really concerning me. He posts things on his snap chat about hating the US government, and worshipping Satan, and just all around really creepy videos. He has been through a lot, and I fear he had some serious personality dissorder. He has been in psychiatric facilities on more then one occasion, and was help in 50 1 50 longer then most. He's only 17, and has been on probation sense he was 14. He used to have out bursts and bang his head against the wall, and cut him self, but now it seems to be the opposite. He seems to have no interest in anything any more. (Maybe because of his mood stabilizers?). I used to feel he was just very depressed, my family is kind of a wreck and he wasn't born from a place of love. But now I think he is just completely full of hate for everything, and every one, especially society and his parents. The only people I think he doesn't hate are myself and our other little sister. I have tried to tell my mom on several occasions about my concerns but she doesn't wanna see or hear it. She's on her third marriage, and my brother is taking a huge tole on it. Her current husband is verging on taking my little sister and leaving because of my brother, so my mom just constantly covers for his and enables him. She would rather to this then lose another marriage. If I try to argue that he needs serious help, she gets angry with me, and I'm in the dog house because she's very codependent on my brother, and if getting help involves her not being by his side 24/7, she wants nothing to do with it. He's in mandatory therapy weekly, but They all just lie and say how great he's doing. I love my brother more then any one in this world and that why I want help. I'm so worried that he may do something to hurt others or himself. I'm also worried even having him living in the house with my family. I feel like he's a ticking time bomb. I'm not sure how to handle this situation with out losing communication with my family, or causing my brother to hate me. Please help.
Submitted: 10 months ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Linda D. replied 10 months ago.

Welcome to Just Answer. My name is ***** ***** I am a licensed psychotherapist in private practice in New York State. I am so sorry to hear about your brothers significant mental health issues. I also have a very close family member who has serious mental health issues and I know how terribly hard this can be. I would like to recommend that you consider seeing a psychotherapist that can help you sort out what you are and are not able to do, or in other words how to take care of yourself first and navigate these complex family dynamics. There is a lot going on here, not only are you concerned about your brother and other family members safety which can be traumatic for you, but you also have a mom who instead of giving you support on how to deal with your feelings regarding your brother is actually adding frustration and confusion for you. Would you consider partnering with a therapist o help you with your needs, feelings and developing an appropriate supportive relationship with your brother? I look forward to hearing from you and again, I empathize with how difficult this situation is for you. Sincerely, ***** ***** LMSW, CASAC

Customer: replied 10 months ago.
Hi Linda,
I appreciate your response, thank you. Yes I know this situation is extreamly difficult. There are a lot of components and it is very frustrating and I do sometimes feel quite helpless. I have tried seeing therapists, but i haven't had much luck with help. I have never come out feeling I have gotten solid guidance. But I understand the situation is complex so it may take some consistent visits to get any where. Or maybe I just haven't been seeing the right type of therapist? What would you suggest?
Expert:  Linda D. replied 10 months ago.

You are welcome Nicole, I am still meeting with clients in my own private practice, but will return to you a little after 8:00pm. Linda

Expert:  Linda D. replied 10 months ago.

Hello Nicole, thank you for waiting, your question is a good one. And I am glad that you are willing to consider seeing a therapist. Therapists who are trained in Family Therapy focus on family of origin issues and also healthy boundary setting. If you want to do some research on your own, Murray Bowen is the father of family systems theory and outlines eight primary ways that our relationships with family members become dysfunctional. Another resource you should be aware of is NAMI (National Alliance for Mental Illness). They have a wealth of resources for family members of individuals with mental illness. They may be able to recommend some resources in your area. I wish you and your brother all the best and am here for you if I can help any further. Please take a moment to rate my service to you, I would truly appreciate it. Sincerely, ***** ***** LMSW, CASAC