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TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 3531
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker.
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Im a divorced woman I'm back with my husband who goes on

Customer Question

Im a divorced woman I'm back with my husband who goes on vacation with the young guy and recently another young guy moves across the street from him yeah he wants me to hang around could this be a front I enjoyed being with my husband and I know what's going on but it seems like he has no respect for me we were together and he just walked across the street and look in the guy's face are really young guy younger than any of his children how should I handle this sometimes I feel like just walking away other times I sleep with other guys
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

I am a little confused. Could you clarify a bit more? You are back with your husband but he is also dating other men and you are wondering whether to stay with him while he lives this life as well?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I m 65 and he is 70 I'm figuring I need the security he provide, I go to my home and visit him on weekends if I choose. He think I don't know what's going on. He's paid my home off and bought me another car. Sometimes I feel ok about the arrangement, because I date secretly, then keep him for security
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

I can hear your struggle but I can also hear the even though it is hard for you, that because of the security it feels okay for you. Sot it sounds to me like things will continue this way because on some level it works for both of you...and that is okay. You live your life, he lives his and then you come together when it works for both of you.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
He gets jealous I can tell he trying to call and see if I'm home on my home phone at night and I get jealous when I see the younger guy across the street and I was thinking about asking him to stop this arrangement that is the only one that bothers me he has to wear a condom he's not okay with that cuz he wants me to think that he is loyal sometimes it makes me crazy and I just tell myself I'm a big girl I'm very attractive most people think I'm 40 I'm very active and I think it comes from me being an orphan when I was a child for htn somehow I lost myself and I have too much respect for authority but I tell him how I feel and what I need for him to do what I don't like what I like I just feel like sometimes I'm settling but when I meet somebody else I'll be able to sing way I'm settling only I just don't have the security
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

Yes, there is a big dilemma there. I don't know that he will be able to stop his arrangement so it will come down to whether you want to continue on in this way to have your security or spread your wings and go it alone. Hard choice, I know.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I have been alone for 18 years dating turning on marriage because he wanted me to move to China before he married me I think my problem lies in the fact that I don't know my own self worth and maybe a lack of confidence and I look at my friends or the same age as I am and they're just settling too I've done research they never change he just want me for a front because he's been going to church so I guess we both are using each other in some strange way I know he really loves me and losing you would be another failure to him so he feel like he's going to keep that front and I think I will stay as long as it works for me I left once before I can leave again I think
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

Yes as long as it works for you and when it doesn't feel right and you have the strength then leaving may be an option. you get to decide what works for you.

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

Let me know if I can support you further here. If all good for now, please click the rating stars to rate my support so I may be credited for my time. Thanks so much.

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

Please if you would take a moment to click the rating stars, I would appreciate it as I am not credited for my time without it.