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LeahMSWuofm, Clinical Social Worker
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 645
Experience:  10 years post-MSW experience
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I've been feeling so unmotivated for the past year it's

Customer Question

I've been feeling so unmotivated for the past year it's become worrisome. I want to get out there and accomplish some great stuff but life feels so hard. All of my friends are juggling crazy schedules and getting lots of things done while I'm crawling at a snail's pace. I'm always get overwhelmed by small things... It's deeply frustrating. My best is never enough for others... what on earth do I do? Where do I go from here if I feel so empty and lost? I've been feeling so off for quite some time now. I have no fire in me anymore! I feel so expired. :-(
Is it possible that some kind of trauma is contributing to the problem? Last year was particularly stressful for me, as I was in quite a few bad friendships that crumbled in the end. I was deeply affected and I still struggle with the memories now. I prefer to avoid certain places and things. A couple days ago, I saw someone who looked like somebody who I fell out with last year and I fresked out and had to leave the store I was in. What's the "normal" response to having your heart broken by the cruel actions of unhealthy friendships? How long should the grief caused by broken friendships last? How much, how long is concerning enough to go visit a mental health professional? Thank you.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Ravoof replied 1 year ago.

Dear customer,

Grief is a normal and natural reaction to loss. It is not a mental health problem, and needs to be experienced like all the emotions that we experience in our life. Only when it becomes complicated grief which in an ongoing, heightened state of mourning occurring even months after the loss, and which is disabling and severe, does it become a mental health problem. Please read the below linked book to know how to best deal with loss and normal grief. This book will also help you clarify your values and how to pursue your goals based on your values and get things done. However if you think you have complicated grief, in addition to reading the below linked book you may need to see a therapist in your location.

Take care.

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Expert:  LeahMSWuofm replied 1 year ago.

Hello and thanks for writing to us. I am sorry you are feeling so down. Based on some of the things you are saying, I think it is quite possible that you are suffering from depression. Depression could explain why you feel so unmotivated, hopeless, "off", lacking your old fire, etc. Grief alone typically does not have such an impact on one's general feelings or personality a year later so while naturally you are experiencing and coping with loss, the weight of the situation could have put your mind into a depressed state. Absolutely situational things and sad times can be the primer for depression to start even if it had not previously been a factor.

I definitely feel like you may benefit from talking to your primary care doctor about depression and possible medication to help you over this hump in life. And it is never to early to talk to a mental health professional, as you suggest at the end. Severe, not severe, complicated or not, a therapist could do wonders to help you cope and process all that has gone on so you can ultimately find peace with the past and look forward to the future again.

You don't have to do this alone. there is support in the community for helping people through tough times. If it is depression, medication and counseling can help you through this so you feel back to your old self and able to tackle life agian. Thanks for stepping up today and asking. I think the fact that you wrote says enough that you are in need of some extra support and now would be a great time to seek it.

Please let me know if I can help any further,