Mental Health

Have Mental Health Questions? Ask a Psychiatrist Online

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

Mental Health

To whom it may concern: I was in a previous marriage before

Customer Question
To whom it may concern: I...
To whom it may concern:
I was in a previous marriage before I married my current husband who is 23 and I am 40, everything was fine in the beginning but he used to hit me and curse me from the beginning telling me that I am a slut as I was dating his friend before I dated him and this upset him a lot.
he kinda stole me from his friend slowly by telling stories about how promiscuous his friend was and that he only slept with one hooker but he denied it afterwards as he told me just to appear that he has experience I also denied sleeping with his friend but he does not believe me.
He would always slap and pinch me for stupid reasons like for example I talked loudly in public, I wandered off in the Super market without telling him, I didn't concentrate.
When I was having the baby he brought a cloths wire and started slapping me with it telling me that I have taken too long in labor and that I am used (as I have other children) and cannot give birth and that he has taken damaged goods.
He used to ask me a lot to swear that i did not sleep with his friend, he also told me that its unfair that I was married and had experience.
Recently he has stopped calling me a slut and started to tell me that I am a senile old hag and I am ugly and my feet are like tires and my ears are big and useless as I have a slight hearing problem and that my ass is sagging and my teeth are yellow overthought his teeth are yellow too. I know that I am a pretty woman as everybody tells me so and before dating my husband I had two men chasing me begging me to take them back.
I told him why do you curse me hi said that I am stubborn and he wants to tame me.
I am a bit stubborn, but not much and I give in to him like when he told me to wear a long dress when we were in vacation even though I agreed with him before marriage that I do not like wearing abaya (the long black dress).
I was with him on a vacation recently he would always curse me by telling me that I am old and def, and he told me bring a pretty maid not like the one we used to have I told me would you like it if I told you to bring a hansom driver, he then pushed me an slapped me. After that he told me you divorced which he already told me a couple of times before.
He even slapped me when I didn't come to bed because he was telling me old bat come to bed.
He tells me that the slaps and pinching are not abuse because they do not leave marks like my x- husband did.
He even wanted to travel without me because the baby did not have a passport still, I told him ok go then I will go when you come back, when he was leaving he told me you can't go alone as I do not want a guy to sit next to you. He dint go anyway as the flight left (I was preparing the suit case to leave him as he is a asshole).
We came back from vacation yesterday, he told me old bat why didn't you see that I left the keys in the airplane. I told him you took them out not me he raised his hand as if to slap me.I got so angry and left to my sister's house he got crazy sending me messages and phoning me many times and texting me that he loves me he even called his Mom AND i THINK HE TOLD HER ONLY HALF TRUTHS AS SHE TOLD HIM YOUR WIFE IS UNSTABLE AND SHE OVER REACTED BY YOU TELLING HER OLD.
He even slaps our baby, I asked him when I as stubborn he said he does not remember.
I seriously do not know what to do with him as I am back home and very upset.
I am very hurt as I saw some reveling pictures of naked women on his PC and even a picture of my friend. He told me they are only pictures and that all men do the same.
I am the one that pays for everything as he still is studying, he does not even bother to help me with cleaning the house which is a rubbish he even does not pick up his cloths.
I do not want to be treated like that, can I fix him or should I just leave him, and the baby which he uses as a bait?
Submitted: 1 year ago.Category: Mental Health
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Mental Health Question
Answered in 2 hours by:
8/23/2016
Mental Health Professional: LeahMSWuofm, Clinical Social Worker replied 1 year ago
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm, Clinical Social Worker
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 773
Experience: 10 years post-MSW experience
Verified

Hello and thank you for writing to us. My name is ***** ***** i'd like to help. I am so sorry you are experiencing these struggles in your marriage now, and also in your past. You did not then and do not now deserve to be abused. He is absolutely emotionally and physically abusing you. He is also physically abusing your child, which could cause life-long detriments to their stability and well-being.

In cases like this, it is rare that the abuser will change as they will never take responsibility for their actions and will instead make you feel like it was your fault that he hit you. He is already doing this and blaming you for the abuse and problems in your marriage and lying to others about your behavior. Because he so freely emotionally and physically hurts you and your child now, there is a chance that his behavior may escalate, putting you further at risk.

I know this is a very difficult time for you and i trust you have a very hard decision ahead of you. My advice to you is to leave this marriage and seek the relationship you deserve with a man who loves you and will not abuse you. Hopefully, you can take the baby with you to protect and nurture them. If you are not yet prepared to leave, you do have the choice of staying and tolerating the abuse but the abuse of the child is absolutely not acceptable and this should be clearly explained to your husband. You can try giving ultimatums/threats about leaving if he doesn't seek help for his anger/abuse issues, but he has to want to change and be motivated to seek treatment for these issues on his own. If he does not want to change, does not think there is a problem, or believes it is generally acceptable for men to treat their wives this way, then I worry you and your children will be forced to live a life in fear as victims which is really a very sad and unfair thing.

I hope this is helpful and reinforces your thoughts that leaving may be for the best. You and your children deserve better.

I look forward to hearing back from you. Sincerely,

Leah

Ask Your Own Mental Health Question
Mental Health Professional: LeahMSWuofm, Clinical Social Worker replied 1 year ago

Hello:

I noticed this question was still open and wondered if i could assist further. I know things are difficult for you. Please let me know. Sincerely,

Leah

Ask Your Own Mental Health Question
Ask LeahMSWuofm Your Own Question
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm, Clinical Social Worker
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 773
773 Satisfied Customers
Experience: 10 years post-MSW experience

LeahMSWuofm is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much

Corrie MollPretoria, South Africa

I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well!

ClaudiaAlbuquerque, NM

Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion.

KevinBeaverton, OR

Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
I feel better already! Thank you.

ElanorTracy, CA

Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem.

JulieLockesburg, AR

You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions.

John and StefanieTucson, AZ

I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!!

Janet VPhoenix, AZ

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

Dr. Keane

Dr. Keane

Therapist

1,379 satisfied customers

Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.

TherapistMarryAnn

TherapistMarryAnn

Therapist

4,021 satisfied customers

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.

Dr. Olsen

Dr. Olsen

Psychologist

2,336 satisfied customers

PsyD Psychologist

Norman M.

Norman M.

Principal psychotherapist in private practice. Newspaper contributor, over 2000 satisfied clients on JA

2,246 satisfied customers

ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), ECP, UKCP Registered.

Dr. Michael

Dr. Michael

Psychologist

2,177 satisfied customers

Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.

Steven Olsen

Steven Olsen

Therapist

1,728 satisfied customers

More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education

Anna

Anna

Mental Health Professional

1,656 satisfied customers

Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.

< Previous | Next >

Related Mental Health Questions
I'm depressed just finished my divorce yesterday feel so sad
Hello, I'm depressed just finished my divorce yesterday feel so sad how to get over it faster no energy my eyes tell on me. My X is who wanted it he has abusive and acts like the victim and blames me … read more
Linda D.
Linda D.
Master\u0027s Degree
795 satisfied customers
If I'm having trouble sleeping at night and unable to
If I'm having trouble sleeping at night and unable to concentrate not to mention feeling constantly sad and unable to eat, what could I be suffering from?… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
171 satisfied customers
Have been on duluxetine and still have trouble sleeping.
have been on duluxetine and still have trouble sleeping. Ordered Klova patch that has minimum 5-htp and hope that will be safe so I can sleep at night. … read more
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik
PSYCHIATRIST ( MD Psychiatry)
Doctoral Degree
204 satisfied customers
Taking lorazepam as a sleep aid....have been very anxious
taking lorazepam as a sleep aid....have been very anxious for several weeks. Doctor unavailable this week. Can I take it during the day for relief from anxiety? … read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
773 satisfied customers
Im struggling alot about handling. Strws. Sad and i dont
Ever since i was little i always struggled with waking up sad and then bursting into tears for no reason… read more
Linda D.
Linda D.
Master\u0027s Degree
795 satisfied customers
I feel this feeling of guilt and sadness and I'm not sure
I feel this feeling of guilt and sadness and I'm not sure why Would you happen to have an explanation for that … read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
773 satisfied customers
I feel sad so much I need help dealing with how I feel
I feel sad so much I need help dealing with how I feel because it's affecting with my relationship with my boyfriend and my happiness in general… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
171 satisfied customers
Ocd self doubts. I take sleeping tablets to help me sleep.
Hi Pearl, I take sleeping tablets to help me sleep. My mood is a bit depressed and I started taking medication as prescribed by my GP yesterday thanks. … read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
773 satisfied customers
Sleeping all day, at one moment can feel on top of the
Sleeping all day, at one moment can feel on top of the world, and another time feel super sad… read more
Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie
Masters, Professional Psychology
5 satisfied customers
I have been taking .25 Ativan to sleep for seven months, due
I have been taking .25 Ativan to sleep for seven months, due to taking Levaquin, which brought on terrible anxiety and many other symtoms which were horrific. I feel I am hurting my Gaba transmitters … read more
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik
PSYCHIATRIST ( MD Psychiatry)
Doctoral Degree
204 satisfied customers
I am on escitalopram 10mg....I can't sleep at night....what
Hi ...I am on escitalopram 10mg....I can't sleep at night....what is a good drug to use? … read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
773 satisfied customers
Second opinion] OKMH98-130 I've been very sad and in a bad
second opinion] OKMH98-130 I've been very sad and in a bad state of mind ever since my mother figure passed away last year. I suffer from insomnia ever since. Loss of interest in daily activities. I p… read more
Juliet Cooper
Juliet Cooper
Doctorate of Psychology
29 satisfied customers
I have a question regarding anti-anxiety and sleeping
I have a question regarding anti-anxiety and sleeping tablets. Can you help me with this? … read more
Linda D.
Linda D.
Master\u0027s Degree
795 satisfied customers
OKMH98-130 I've been very sad and in a bad state of mind
OKMH98-130 I've been very sad and in a bad state of mind ever since my mother figure passed away last year. I suffer from insomnia ever since. I've been sad often. I noticed my mood is better when I'm… read more
Linda D.
Linda D.
Master\u0027s Degree
795 satisfied customers
OKMH824211 I sometimes have difficulty sleeping. It's not a
OKMH824211 I sometimes have difficulty sleeping. It's not a chronic problem, but it happens often enough that I'd like to find techniques/methods that can help me when I experience the problem. I don'… read more
Dr. Phil, MD
Dr. Phil, MD
Internal Medicine Physician
Doctoral Degree
2,678 satisfied customers
I quit Klonopin 3.5 months ago, but still only sleeping 2
I quit Klonopin 3.5 months ago, but still only sleeping 2 days a week. I am completely sleep deprived and feel like I am going mad. I have tried almost every other medication for sleep to no avail. Am… read more
Dr. Phil, MD
Dr. Phil, MD
Internal Medicine Physician
Doctoral Degree
2,678 satisfied customers
I am 54 and sad and lonely, just like the lady I am reading
I am 54 and sad and lonely, just like the lady I am reading about right now. … read more
Linda D.
Linda D.
Master\u0027s Degree
795 satisfied customers
I am so sad and exhausted. My baby brother dies April 2015,
I am so sad and exhausted. My baby brother dies April 2015, 18 months later i list my Mom. I had been her caterer … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
171 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x