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TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 3385
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker.
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I have been mostly dissatisfied with my partner sexually. We

Customer Question

I have been mostly dissatisfied with my partner sexually. We are together 9 months. Despite going through 10 sessions of sex therapy and many graphic requests, my partner doesn't do any foreplay. So I don't get satisfied.
He was born and raised in Israel, son of Persian immigratants. In every other way he adores me and lavishes attention on me. I care for him a great deal, but after out last unfulfilling time in bed, I told him I couldn't do this anymore, and I am deeply hurt. And he killed any interest in being intimate with him for the near future.
He felt terribly, and kept saying that he never meant to do this. And had no idea just how bad things had gotten. I asked him why we never had pillow talk, and how could he not know when I buy lying in bed frustrated.
Any thoughts on what could be going on? He was a loved child, with no sexual abuse in the family.
Submitted: 11 months ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 11 months ago.

Everyone has a different style sexually and when things fit it feels great, but when there is a miss as in this case it makes the intimacy that much more difficult. some want, need and enjoy foreplay while others, like him, do not desire it and cannot see how their partner may need and enjoy it. You have been open about your needs and you have also had sex therapy and yet things remain, so that would indicate that things aren't likely to become much different, so it will come down to how you can proceed in the future. There may not be any great mystery as to why he doesn't want foreplay as it just may be more style and preference rather than some deep reason for it. Your styles around intimacy may simply be different.

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 11 months ago.

How can I support you further?