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Ask Dr. D. Love Your Own Question
Dr. D. Love
Dr. D. Love, Doctor
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 18438
Experience:  Family Physician for 10 years; Hospital Medical Director for 10 years.
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I was wondering if you could help me with my situation..or

Customer Question

Hi I was wondering if you could help me with my situation..or give me advice or help me understand what you think is going on with my mum family.
to give you a brief I have just recently lost my fiance to cancer our relation ship was good we didn't get round to living together but I have lovely happy memories of us. He was my main support when I was having trouble.
The problem I have is my relationship with my mother I live with her and my dad but for quite a while have been having these silly arguments with her that get all blown out of proportion and her resentment towards me lasts for days.
this has been happening quite alot over the years now and I just wanted your perspective on it.
The situation that seems to be the main theme is she will say something cruel or something that had hurt my feelings and when I try to discuss this with her she either flat out denies she has said it or says I didn't mean it like that I am taking it the wrong way. Its made me question myself over the years . Its only revenly that i hAve cone to relise this may be a form of enotional abuse. Am i right in thinking this? It makes me feel fearful and like a feeling like I don know myself.
I don't have the support of anyone close as all my family rake her side on the drama . I can't speak honestly to her how I feel as when we are arguing my feelings are not important I am either too sensitive or I am twisting things she tells me.
She makes me feel worse and berates me bringing up all my wrongs ect. My dad hears the argument and shouts at me telling me that I am bothering her. He always takes her side. I wouldn't mind so much but I feel I have no one to turn to esp since losing my fiance. My financial situation ain't good at the moment so can't move out at moment. I feel I have no one and feel really lonely. The few times I told my fiance what was going on she overheard and tried to make me feel bad about that saying I was making up lies about her. I feel so angry and alone with no support. Just wanted your take on this and wondered what you think could be wrong with her. Cant make sense of this cant undrrstsnd why she denies things shr said its making me feel i am going crazy. Your take on this or your advice would be greatly appreciated. I would like a good relationship with het bit it feels to do this i need to agree with her all the time even when she is lying. I tjink i fe el scated as i worry for my memtal health. I feel stressed and kind of scared of my mum.
Submitted: 11 months ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. D. Love replied 11 months ago.

Hello from JustAnswer.

I am sorry that no expert has yet responded, but it is likely because it is impossible to say what is happening in this situation. It certainly is possible that your mother has some type of mental health condition, including a condition that affects social interactions or a personality disorder. But these conditions would need far more of an evaluation than can be done based on the description of a child over the internet.

The most common situation is that many close relationships have established patterns of interaction that frequently started so long ago that the affected individuals have difficulty remembering how that pattern developed in the first place. While counseling may be able to identify how the pattern developed, it also may simply be necessary to try to change the interactions going forward.

If possible, family counseling may be better able to address these issues than individual counseling.