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TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 3530
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker.
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How can a wife diagnose her husband as narcissistic within

Customer Question

How can a wife diagnose her husband as narcissistic within the first 2 years of marriage.
We will be acknowledging our 60th anniversary in 2 months and although I always knew he had a major problem, I did not learn until about 2-3 years ago that he has a mental disorder - narcissism. He was very abusive in all ways except physical and as a strong Christian I did not believe in divorce, even though as a pastor he had a long-term adultery relationship when he was 48 years old. I believe there are many other wives in the same predictament as myself and would like to help them understand.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

I think many people see the red flags and the behavior and just put it on the back burner because of the fear and worry that it brings by acknowledging it and also beating yourself up for missing the behavior and tolerating it. Early on in any relationship we often tell ourselves fairy tales and make excuses for behaviors that in our gut isn't right. I imagine you did this like many others when dealing with a tough individual.

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

The self involved, entitled behavior is most likely present, but each person does a good job of hiding it as much as possible and pretending it doesn't exist.

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

Whether it is narcissism or any other trait, it is not uncommon to see traits early on in a relationship and pretend they are not there in the hope that things work out, family is established, kids, etc.