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LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm, Clinical Social Worker
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 594
Experience:  10 years post-MSW experience
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Wife and I separated she says she needs space. I am losing

Customer Question

Wife and I separated she says she needs space. I am losing my mind. Married 11 years, 2 kids and I struggle with alcohol. She is fed up. In a treatment program and worried about losing her. She will not talk, wants space
JA: Have you seen a doctor about this yet? What medications are you taking?
Customer: Yes and no med. Just treatment to keep my alcoholism under wraps
JA: Anything else in your medical history you think the psychologist should know?
Customer: nope
JA: OK. Got it. I'm sending you to a secure page on JustAnswer so you can place the $5 fully-refundable deposit now. While you're filling out that form, I'll tell the Psychologist about your situation and then connect you two.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  LeahMSWuofm replied 1 year ago.

Hello and thank you for writing to us. My name is ***** ***** I'd like to help. I am so sorry to hear about your current struggle. But I do want to congratulate you on getting yourself in treatment to try and get your alcohol use under control. Hopefully this means you have a more positive future ahead of you for your own sake and also that of your family.

Since your wife said she needs some space right now, the best advice that I have is for you to give her that space. It will be really trying on you to honor it but to lead to the best outcome, you really do need to respect her wishes and focus on your own treatment. If you can continue to demonstrate to her that you are serious about getting your alcohol use under control and are focusing on this, hopefully she will see how seriously you are making efforts to change and will give you another chance. Your actions right now will speak louder than your words and since you can only control your own behavior but not hers, seeking positive change in yourself is an excellent step.

I know this is so hard on you. Breaks in relationships can be extremely lonely butt perhaps this represents an opportunity. If you continue to just give your wife the space she needs right now, when the time is right, she will seek you out. When you do communicate, make sure you focus on explaining to her all the ways in which you are making progress for the sake of you and your family rather than focusing on attempt to make her come back to you right now. Fortunately, your wife sought a temporary separation, not divorce, which is promising that she has hope for your relationship.

I hope this was helpful and gives you some encouragement that you are on the right track despite the distance you are currently feeling from her. I know it is hard but you keep up the good work and focus on your treatment. She will notice your efforts.

Sincerely,

Leah

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you. Needed to hear it.
Expert:  LeahMSWuofm replied 1 year ago.
You're welcome. Hang in there.-Leah