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John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC)
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 567
Experience:  25+ years helping people find solutions...
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I am in need of a bit of insight into Borderline

Customer Question

I am in need of a bit of insight into Borderline Personality Disorder. Or Bi-Polar Manic Schisoeffective. Ok probably did not spell that right. My wife is having problems. She was Diagnosed with the Bipolar Manic Schisoeffective. But she believe that she may be the Borderline Personality Disorder. Now My question here is... When she has these episodes of extreme anger and refuses to talk to me and demands that our relationship is over, How long can one of these episodes last? Is this common for these disorders? We have been married for 20 yrs. thru our marriage she has had these episodes about every 3-4 yrs. But lately it has been every 2-3 months. She has been lying a lot lately also. About simple things that realy don't matter. She gets mad a me for what I assume is no reason and then doesn't talk to me for 3 days or so but in that period will post hatful messages to me on Facebook. I am trying to hold on and do my best to keep her happy but nothing seems to work. any insight here would be great.

Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  John-Michaels replied 1 year ago.
I am sorry you are going through this. I applaud you for your strength for enduring this to this point and staying by her side.If she has been diagnosed by a mental health professional I would take their diagnosis over a self diagnosis just about everytime. It sounds more bipolar to me as well because it comes in waves or in a cycle. Borderline is pretty much all the time. Bi-polar is also very cyclical.Bipolar also often resist medication. i am assuming she is not taking her medication co distantly now.Your reaction should be pretty much the same regardless. As long as you allow her to treat you this way, the less apt she is to seek help or follow instructions.I would advise you to give her a ultimatum, either get her mess straightened out or next time she tells you she's done your done.I know that sounds cruel, but until you show her you mean business, she's not going to to take you seriously.Does that make sense. I hope so, because I do want to be s help.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

She has been diagnosed Bipolar Manic Schitsoeffective. She has now moved in with another man. This is the first time this has happened in our 20 yr marriage. She is not taking her medication. She is not happy with the guy she is with. You can see it plain as day. Infact the guy told me himself that she was not happy. but in one sentence she will tell me she never wants to see me again but then whisper to me that I need to be ready to come get her at a moments notice. The man she is staying with has a history of beating woman. She knows this and you can tell she is not happy there but she still chooses to stay there instead of comming home to her husband and children. just yesterday i took kids to see her. she was standing at back of car and told children that she could not explain what was going on but to please be ready to come get her.

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