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Ask Linda D. Your Own Question
Linda D.
Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 669
Experience:  LMSW, CASAC
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I have anxiety over not loving my husband I've always had

Customer Question

I have anxiety over not loving my husbandI've always had anxiety, since I was a child as in anytime I had to go to school is throw up and cry. It was never really diagnosed. I went to Colorado with my dad which I started to get really anxious while I was there. I want to leave and be home, but kept thinking about having to drive back home to Arkansas. I started to get bad anxiety and couldn't wait to be home with my husband. When I got into town I felt calm that I was almost home to him. But right before I walked into the door I got extreme anxiety about not loving my husbandNot that I know of. This anxiety caused me to have an anxiety attack. I've had attacks over different things before. Is this normal to feel about my husband? I have no reason to feel this way about him.I worry they aren't just thoughts in my head. I worry I can't love. Apart of me feels that I'd feel this way no matter who I was in a relationship with. If I don't love my husband that means I'll be divorced, alone, and my family will find out I don't have much college. I'll probably have to get a shitty job to support myself and my parents are in no position to support me. I'd also have to end my relationship with My husband. I have no reason to feel this way. He's a great guy, loving, caring, compassionate, and the most beautiful person I've ever met. Moments of calm I want to cuddle and be with him. I feel normal somewhat. But I worry. I got really anxious and doubted our relationship once six years ago. But it went away and I always believed it went away because I loved him. This time it just won't go away and I can't stop thinking about it.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Linda D. replied 1 year ago.

Hello, this is Linda again. I can see that you are very distressed and consumed with worry about your feelings and fears of not being able to love and/or love your husband. I am sorry you are going through this and would like to help. I am free later this evening from seeing patients and will return to help you. In the meantime can you tell me if you have ever been professionally treated for an anxiety disorder either with medication or therapy? have there been other situations in your life where you became obsessive about a situation in your life, whereby you could not control how much you worried over it. I will be back to communicate more asap. Sincerely, ***** ***** LMSW, CASAC

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I got stretch marks a few years ago and up until recently I obsessed over them a lot. I felt like I'd never be the same because of them. I didn't want to be seen in public for what seemed like a couple of years. I often obsess over other people's situations even though they aren't any of my business. I have negative thoughts about myself a good bit and always have.I am currently taking Zoloft and buspar. I've been on them for about a week now, exactly. I worry the meds won't make me feel much better about the situation. Earlier today I spoke with you and you told me not to let these thoughts to have powers to how I feel about my husband. It worked for awhile and I was clam and normal with him for awhile. But I keep thinking about it.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I also had crooked teeth. My parents didn't have my wisdom teeth cut out and I kind of obsessed with getting braces to have them fixed.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I don't want to feel this way. I want to stay married. I want to work through this. Do you think that's possible? That this REALLY isn't how I feel? I know a lot of times anxiety can make you feel certain ways. If this one of those situations?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I obviously care a great deal what people think of me. If I feel it wouldn't be socially acceptable I don't do it.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
My dad also suffers from anxiety, manic depression, and PTSD. However, he was diagnosed manic depression before ever joining the military
Expert:  Linda D. replied 1 year ago.

Would it be possible for us to talk live this evening? I can offer you this service and maybe we can come up with a plan that will help you. Please let me know as soon as possible and I will send you the offer. Linda

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Is this serious? Because I'd rather just talk through here
Expert:  Linda D. replied 1 year ago.

Okay, we can just talk here then. And no this is not serious, anxiety disorders are the number one mental health issue facing men and women today. Many people do not seem to know how to calm and soothe themselves when struggling with worry and/or stress and/or inner conflict. As I said earlier medication is the first line of treatment for anxiety. You may also have traits of OCD and I would like you to purchase a workbook online that is called Anxiety and Phobias to do some independent work at home to help you with understanding and coping skills.