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Ask Dr. Kaushik Your Own Question
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4636
Experience:  MD Psychiatry
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I'm so upset I fell asleep last night and my 12 year old son

Customer Question

I'm so upset I fell asleep last night and my 12 year old son was watching TV laying on my bed. When I awoke later he was playing with himself next to me. I didn't holler at.him
JA: The Psychologist will need to help you with this. Please give me a bit more information, so the Psychologist can help you best.
Customer: Where do I go from here
JA: Is there anything else the Psychologist should be aware of?
Customer: I'm his step mom he has been with me since 2 years old . He very good no problems. I separated from my husband 2 years ago but I have maintained custody of him
JA: OK. Got it. I'm sending you to a secure page on JustAnswer so you can place the $5 fully-refundable deposit now. While you're filling out that form, I'll tell the Psychologist about your situation and then connect you two.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Kaushik replied 1 year ago.
Greetings.Welcome to the site.Was he aware that you saw him playing with himself ? Can you be more specific about what you exactly did when you found out what was he doing ?Regards
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I think he was half sleep. I made sure he was fully awake. My inI tial response was to freak out but I calmed my self. I asked him what was he doing and at first he said nothing. I questioned further he told me he does that when he sleeps. I told him that it was natural to want to touch yourself but that it was inappropriate what he had done.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I'm always open with him. We speak regular about the changes happening to his body. We have great communication. I really am feeling some sort of way about this.
Expert:  Dr. Kaushik replied 1 year ago.
Thanks for the inputs.Well, i feel you did right to address the issue to him upfront since that was inappropriate action although benefit of doubt could be given to him based on the premise that he was half asleep and therefore he might have forgotten that was with you and hence did not bother to show inhibition in carrying out that act. Well, one thing you need to understand and you probably know and that is at his age children are having sexual surges due to the age of puberty that they are entering into or have already done so, but this is not excuse to be discrete about their personal moments. So, as a follow up to your work done already, you need to sit him down when he is in a good mood to listen and without embarrassing him or yourself in a casual yet subtle manner mention to him that while you understand that he is on the verge of puberty and he must be doing that what he did quite often and it is completely natural and understandable but he needs to curb his actions when he is around others including you since this can give rise to an awkward and embarrassing situation. So just mention this to him once again so as to make sure that he understands that his actions need to be filtered and done under thorough discretion otherwise it may bring unnecessary strain within relationships owing to shear embarrassment. Other than this you may just behave very normal with him and stop thinking too much over it. I hope this makes sense.Wish you all the best.Please kindly leave a POSITIVE RATING if you are satisfied with the answer.Regards