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Linda D.
Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 701
Experience:  LMSW, CASAC
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My son is 22, very smart and handsome and has it all. He

Customer Question

My son is 22, very smart and handsome and has it all. He just does not want to bother him self with proper education, he just wants to pass and just pass a mediocre school. He is absolutely capable and I have made sure that he has all the tools for him to succeed but he just want to! And the surprise is that he really believes that he will do brilliantly in life! He has not a single doubt that he will succeed and even be special! From 'I want' to 'I do' there seems to be a gap I am unable to understand or fix.
JA: OK. The Psychologist will need to help you with this. Is there anything else the Psychologist should be aware of?
Customer: His father passed away when he was 10. I am have been acting as both parents and being an orphan didn't affect him as far as I can see. He is funny and very confident and charming but could care less about his education! I am at a loss
JA: OK. Got it. I'm sending you to a secure page on JustAnswer so you can place the $5 fully-refundable deposit now. While you're filling out that form, I'll tell the Psychologist about your situation and then connect you two.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Linda D. replied 1 year ago.

Hello and thank you for using Just Answer. My name is ***** ***** I am a licensed psychotherapist/family therapist in private practice in New York State.Well first congratulations on raising a son with such amazing qualities. You must be very proud of him and he is very lucky to have a mom who is so caring and invested in his well being. I know this may be difficult to accept but he may psychologically need to exert his own will in this area. Son's are very bonded to their mother, especially when they perceive that there mother does not have their father there to protect her and look after her. Yet, he does need to break the psychological intensity of that bond by exerting his own autonomy and independence. it is a "rite of passage' and will occur one way or another, ie. dating a person outside the family norms, geographically moving away, etc. In this area of his education it would be best if you tried your best to remain neutral. Help him to feel he is in charge of this area of his life and the decision making is his. He is young and has a lot of experiences ahead of him at college and in life that will teach him more about reality. He can always change colleges in the future or go to a really great Graduate school. Right now at 22 he needs to start feeling like you see him as a capable, competent person who can make his own decisions. He is young, naive and believes anything is possible but unfortunately life will bring him a more realistic perspective little by little. I hope this makes sense and is helpful to you. I have been where you are both personally and professionally and can relate to how frustrating this must be for you. Please let me know if I can help you further. Sincerely, ***** ***** LMSW, CASAC

Expert:  Linda D. replied 1 year ago.

I hope my service to you was helpful. I would appreciate you taking a moment to rate my service to you as that is the only way we are compensated for our time. I wish you and your son all the best. Sincerely, ***** ***** LMSW, CASAC