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Linda D.
Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 668
Experience:  LMSW, CASAC
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I have suffered the trauma of narcissistic

Customer Question

.I have suffered the trauma of narcissistic abuse in (at least) two relationships now; the first one endured 5.5 years and I did not know what I was dealing with, even years after I ended the realtionship, the second one 9 weeks. It took almost a year to recover from the the first, though now having found myself involved with another narcissist who triggered me profoundly, I realize I never fully recovered. I am having a really hard time (8 months later) getting over the last one. I have educated myself and understand that it can take some time, but I want to completely heal and get on with the joys of life and love without all of this nonsense baggage holding me back. I just don't know how to make that happen beyond an intellectual level. I think I need some help.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Linda D. replied 1 year ago.
Good morning Magnolia. Thank you for using Just Answer. My name is ***** ***** I am a licensed psychotherapist in private practice in New York State. I am so sorry to hear that you have been struggling. There are both natural lifestyle things you can add to your life to start aid in your healing from these abusive relationships as well as professional. I am so glad you have reached out for help to heal. You deserve to feel better. I am going to prepare some suggestions and will be back in just a little bit. Sincerely, ***** ***** LMSW, CASAC
Expert:  Linda D. replied 1 year ago.
Magnolia, being involved with a person who is narcissistic can be very wounding as you know. There are online chat/support groups for individuals like yourself that you may want to join. Just google narcissistic relationship online support. also, This is a time for really good self care for you to heal. These are some of the things you should be doing:1). Physical Self Care: the well being of our bodies and emotions are intertwined. Therefore you want to focus on:A consistent routine of exercise such as a daily walk, Really good, abundant, healthy nutrition, flood your body with wonderful vitamins and minerals from the foods you eat, your brain depends on your food choices, make them good ones!!Natural light, try to get as much as possible every day. when you can't get outdoors during bad weather, etc. sit or stand near a bright window while you drink your tea. the feel good hormones and neurotransmitters in our brain depend on natural light. Stay hydrated and drink lots of water.Take a vitamin supplement each day, especially one that is rich in B vitamins.2). Lifestyle: Spend time in Nature , as much as possible. Researchers are just now starting to understand that much of our anxiety ad depression is as a result of our separation from nature. There is anew book that just came out called Vitamin N, that is getting a lot of attention. Nature balances, soothes and inspires our emotions and spirit. Maintain a structure and routine that your mind and body can count on.Sleep. Rest. Sleep. so important for our well being. Listen to music, all types of music that meet the mood you are in and can help you get in touch with what you are feeling, sad, happy, lonely, and will inspire you. Be your own music therapist!!3). Mental/Emotional Care: Reframe your negative thoughts. I am attaching a Thought Record you can use on a daily basis to start identifying and changing negative thoughts that can be sabotaging your best efforts to feel better, like "I probably deserved it.", "there must be something wrong with me." Make this your goal to stop negative self talk! Give time each day to make a gratitude list. Journal as a way to see progress and/or patterns of behavior you want to change. Feel your feelings. Externalize them.4). Spiritual Connection: Read a daily inspirational meditation to start your day. Include prayer and meditation into your day. Believe there is a divine entity that wants your wellness and happiness.And lastly, 5). Social Supports:Build your relationships with friends and family members who you believe can be there for you when you are struggling or having a difficult day or situation. Also as I mentioned above, consider the possibility of joining an online support group. More and more individuals are finding like minded people to share their journey of wellness, recovery, etc. with each other. It can be very powerful for healing.In addition Magnolia, you may want to find a therapist in your area who uses CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) for 6-8 sessions to discover and learn why you may be drawn to men who are abusive to you and can not meet your needs. We develop the patterns we do for a reason, usually as a reaction to our family of origin relationships. Give yourself the benefit of professional help to sort out he why, to help you be less vulnerable in the future to these types of relationships. I truly wish you all the best and invite you to ask me any further questions that I may help you with. Sincerely, ***** ***** LMSW, CASAC
Expert:  Linda D. replied 1 year ago.
Dear Magnolia, I hope you are well and that my suggestions are going to be helpful to you as you move forward. Please take a moment to rate my service to you as this is the only way we are compensated for our time. I truly appreciate it and wish you all the best. sincerely, ***** ***** LMSW, CASAC