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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1379
Experience:  Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
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I want bad things to happen to me. Ever since I can remember

Customer Question

I want bad things to happen to me. Ever since I can remember I just want things like getting raped or experiencing death and things like that to happen to me. I don't want attention. In fact I get so anxious on my birthdays and anything that people give me attention for. I always search for thins to be wrong with me. And I don't try to prevent bad things to happen to me. I know I would never kill myself. But I think about it a lot. I would not mind dying soon or later. Although its like I want to experience being someone else who loves me watching myself die. And I co stantly just want to feel pain. Any pain.I get how things like rape and such ruin peoples lives. And I wish I could take their pain away. When I feel like complete shit and depressed I always think that I'm feeling it so that others don't have too. But Ik its not true. I still find myself wanting to hurt myself. And wanting bad things to happen to me because I deserve it.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

*This website DOES NOT constitute treatment and only provides information and advice in a Q&A format. For treatment (therapy and/or medications) you must go to a licensed professional in your area. Please note that anything said here is not private or confidential, as this is a public forum.

Hello and thank you for using JustAnswer. May I ask, what is your specific mental health question that you would like an answer to in regards ***** ***** situation?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I'm confused if its normal. I'm confused on why I'd be thinking this way. And what can help.
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

This is definitely not normal and most likely this is part of your depression where you are self-blaming and feel that you deserve these bad things to happen to you, when in reality you do not deserve this. I know you tried therapy a few times, but it takes several months of weekly therapy for it to be effective so I would recommend going back to therapy and sticking with it for at least 6-12 months. Also given that you have this desire for self-harm and past incidents of self-harm you should discuss with your doctor about starting on an antidepressant as well.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Do you think I can do anything extra independently that may help?
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

You do not have to do this by yourself, but you can consider using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) on your own using these self-help websites.

Also until you get on a good antidepressant, you can use a natural supplement called St. Johns Wort.