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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1379
Experience:  Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
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I think I'm a covert narcissist and would like to seek

Customer Question

hi, my name is***** think I'm a covert narcissist and would like to seek treatment. I'm in my thirties and lost my sense of identity and have been soul searching. I realized a pattern where I've been unable to commit to anything to the fullest degree, including relationships, professions, etc. I'm in a relationship now with someone I consider a good friend, and it's been going on for 3 years, but stagnant. Lately, for the past few months I've been having thoughts of my ex who I broke up with 5 years ago and was my first love, my last serious relationship. We were on and off for 10 years, neither of us being able to express our emotions very well, which was heartbreaking because if I did see a future with him. It ended over an explosive fight over a something really small, but we had been consistently fighting for a few months prior. I was unable to see what I was doing. I blamed him for yelling too much, but I was actually finding ways to belittle him for no reason because our relationship was reaching the part where it gets hard. I wrote an emotional apology letter when I finally speculated that was the cause of our demise, but didn't send. I'm truly sorry for what I did, but it took me a long time to see what I had done. I don't want to do the same thing with my current
JA: Thanks. Can you give me any more details about your issue?
Customer: relationship. He is a kind man and I don't want to hurt him. The first two years have been great, we got along great. It's only the past year I'm realizing how little we have in common that I started to have a lot of doubts. I dont' want to follow this gut and leave and cause more unneccessary pain if this is actually just narcissism in play, and I need to see past my negative thoughts and see what I saw in him to begin with and love him, or should I leave and spare him any more of my abuse.
JA: OK got it. Last thing — Mental Health Professionals generally expect a deposit of about $18 to help with your type of question (you only pay if satisfied). Now I'm going to take you to a page to place a secure deposit with JustAnswer. Don't worry, this chat is saved. After that, we will finish helping you.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

*This website DOES NOT constitute treatment and only provides information and advice in a Q&A format. For treatment (therapy and/or medications) you must go to a licensed professional in your area. Please note that anything said here is not private or confidential, as this is a public forum.

Hello and thank you for using JustAnswer. Most likely you are not suffering from a Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) as nearly all people with true NPD do not feel there is anything wrong with them and feel that everyone else is wrong. Most likely you are suffering from a mood disorder and are just critical of yourself, which is considered more common. You state that you want to seek treatment, have you considered seeking help from a psychologist for therapy?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I had an assessment session of psychologist once, but could not commit to weekly sessions because of cost. What kind of therapy should I be seeking? How long does treatment take?
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

The most effective form of therapy is called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). CBT has a premise that your symptoms are caused by negative thoughts, so if we change your thought process to be more positive and objective, then your symptoms will lessen as well. There really is no set timeline on how long therapy lasts though, but the average length is around 3-9 months of CBT therapy. If CBT therapy is extended beyond one year, I would recommend a reassessment because typically therapy for that long is reserved for personality disorder, resistant mood disorders, OCD, and/or Psychosis. So I would plan on 3-9 months as the range for CBT therapy in your case at about once a week or once every 2 weeks.