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Linda D.
Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 701
Experience:  LMSW, CASAC
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My name is ***** ***** I have left an alcoholic. we have

Customer Question

hi my name is ***** ***** I have left an alcoholic. we have been together 6 years and have two children but we now live in separate places. I worry about him.his life is spiralling down hill and I worry about him all the time as I still love him. I am worried about the impact this will have on our children
JA: Thanks. Can you give me any more details about your issue?
Customer: i don't know how to "cut him off". I am stuck in limbo land. we are not together but I worry about him every hour of the day and want to look after him but I worry about the impact on our children. am i doing the right thing to cut him off? this is so hard
JA: OK got it. Last thing — Mental Health Professionals generally expect a deposit of about $18 to help with your type of question (you only pay if satisfied). Now I'm going to take you to a page to place a secure deposit with JustAnswer. Don't worry, this chat is saved. After that, we will finish helping you.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
are you there?
Expert:  Linda D. replied 1 year ago.

Hi, yes i am here. Just one moment please.

Expert:  Linda D. replied 1 year ago.

My name is ***** ***** I am a licensed psychotherapist in NYS. I also hold a specialty certification in drug and alcohol abuse. Thank you for using Just Answer, I am here to help you. You have just described perfectly what it feels like to love an alcoholic and not have any control over their drinking and other behaviors. My heart goes out to you. i have worked with many, many spouses and children of alcoholics who bear the pain of this disease. Fortunately there are many resources today to help YOU to cope and grow through this relationship. Al-Anon is the most powerful resource available to you. It is free and exists in every city and online as well. I want to encourage you to go online today and begin to read how they suggest you can love the alcoholic but take care of yourself as well. Alcoholism is a family disease and yes, you are just as affected by alcoholism as he is, you children too. But there is hope for you and honestly for him as well. as painful as it is to have left him, it was a healthy decision on your part to let him clearly know that you will not live with his behavior. You may have actually moved him one step closer to realizing the consequences of drinking the way he does. does this make sense to you? I look forward to hearing back from you. Linda

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I have heard that he has a new girlfriend that allows him to do whatever he wants. He said I tried to "control" him by trying everything for him to give up drink. I am exhausted and have a failed family. I am broken. I tried everything for this family. I have lost him now to drink and all I can do is sit and watch him slowly kill himself. My children's hearts will break and I have to watch this. I know I have adventure right decision by getting our own places now but I am lonely and I have no confidence left. I going to go to al anon on Tuesday to try and get some support as now te dust has settled there is still a lot of work needed to be done! Thanks for listening to me rant - it's on my mind.
Expert:  Linda D. replied 1 year ago.

I am glad you chose to use Just Answer and yes, rant, vent, express how this has affected you. You need it and deserve to be heard and have your feelings validated. I am so happy that you have chose to try an al-anon meeting and would really appreciate it if you would let me know what you think after you go. In al-anon they talk about the three c' can't cause it, you can't control it and you can't cure it. And yes, you probably did try to control his drinking and behavior because you knew he was out of control. It is crazy how the alcoholic holds the ones who are in his life more accountable for their behavior then his own behavior. do not give up hope that from all of this can come new beginnings, new growth for you and your children and new chapters. I wish you and your children all the best. I would truly appreciate it if you would take a moment and rate my service to you. Sincerely, Linda

Expert:  Linda D. replied 1 year ago.

Hello, please let me know if there is anything else I can help you with. If not, I would truly appreciate it if you would take a moment to rate my service to you so that I can receive credit. Thank you so much, sincerely, ***** ***** LMSW, CASAC