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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1379
Experience:  Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
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My ex narcissist boyfriend of 8 yrs devalued and discarded

Customer Question

My ex narcissist boyfriend of 8 yrs devalued and discarded me a year ago. I told him he would never hear from me again. Is there concern he may reappear? I have him blocked from text, calls and email.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

*This website DOES NOT constitute treatment and only provides information and advice in a Q&A format. For treatment (therapy and/or medications) you must go to a licensed professional in your area. Please note that anything said here is not private or confidential, as this is a public forum.

Hello and thank you for using JustAnswer. It really does not matter if he reappears or not as you are still the one in control and you can decide whom to let in your life. If he tries to reach out to you through any means, you can tell him NO and then you can walk away. So even if there was a risk he may try to reappear, and I cannot see the future, but you still have a choice here and you are still in control no matter what. So focus on that and you will be fine

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
From what I have read once you are in relationship with a narcissist and they discard you, thet feel they still "own" you. I am not certain, but it is most likely he has moved on. I know contact with them is what they thrive on. I did this for a short period of time. Do they even care if you tell them they won't hear from you again? I know they hate to be ignored.
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

You are speaking in generalities, but an individual is more complicated than that as no one fits perfectly into the category of a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). There are traits that are seen more and other traits that are seen less, so while in truth many individuals with NPD do not like to be rejected that does not mean they all do. So some individuals with NPD may care if you do not contact them or reciprocate contact, but not all of them so all i can tell you is that it is a possibility that your ex-partner may care, but not a guarantee as I do not know him as an individual. But again it does not matter because you are the gatekeeper in who you let in your life, so you can choose to not let him back in as that is well within your power.