How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Dr. Z Your Own Question
Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 10643
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Dr. Z is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I have several questions. My grand daughter and great grand

Customer Question

I have several questions. My grand daughter and great grand son are now living with my husband and myself, in an addition. This is the fourth home they have lived in since he was born. I am concerned.Our granddaughter has an anxiety disorder so has her TV on even when sleeping and watches reality TV including shows about murders.
She continues to go places and often sleeps at different peoples homes. Her space is most of the time cluttered with clothes on the floor, food left on tables etc.
She has asked me not to clean up her area and I am reluctantly respecting her wishes.
The baby has started to whine frequently. You can also see concern on his face when he cannot see his mother.
I am very concerned for both of them. Do you have any suggestions?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

*This website DOES NOT constitute treatment and only provides information and advice in a Q&A format. For treatment (therapy and/or medications) you must go to a licensed professional in your area. Please note that anything said here is not private or confidential, as this is a public forum.

Hello and thank you for using JustAnswer. It sounds like this mother is a bit overwhelmed and does not appear well organized for raising a child from what you described, but what exactly is your mental health question that you would like an answer to in regards ***** ***** situation?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
How will this impact the baby short and long term if nothing changes?
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

Well the child may have issues with boundaries, lack of discipline, increased anxiety, anger/frustration issues, and possibly a lack of direction as a short term issue. In the long-run this could lead to an anxiety disorder, low motivation, under-performing in school, and easily disorganized. But this is only a speculation as I have not evaluated the child or the mother face to face...also long-term predictions at this age are typically not accurate as children can be very resilient despite their living situation.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I have sent this question in but no response. What can my granddaughter do to change the course of events or the probability of anxiety etc. as an outcome. I would like her to know what she can do change things. This needs to come from an expert and not me.
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

Hello again. The best thing for your grand-daughter to do to stop this manifestation of anxiety would be to provide a more set routine and organization for your great grand son. This will help provide structure for the child and will provide a stable routine for him to better adapt and adjust too. Children at this age need routines as they get overwhelmed very easily by changes, and disorganization, as they cannot adapt well yet to life stressors. Your grand-daughter may need to consider parenting classes to give her a sense of direction on this.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
She is very loving to him and she sees herself as providing a routine and structure. She does not see being in certain places at certain times as part of a routine. It seems that she thinks it is okay and not part of a routine to sleep in a specific place and bed as part of a routine. The routine she does have is meals at a certain time. Otherwise baths etc. as a routine is non existent.
She does not get that what is on the T.V. is absorbed even if he is unable to understand.
I chose not to do a phone call as I need to be able to pass on the information in print so she knows what we have both talked about. I will not go behind her back.
She does not believe she needs a parenting course.
I am frightened for both of them.
I was hoping that I would get specifics like. The baby needs to be able to trust that he will sleep in such and such a place every ..... night. Since their are two parent involved. I would think he would do best if there was a routine as to when he would be with which parent and in what bed.
Needless to say this is stressing me out. I love both of them.
My daughter had a similar way of raising my granddaughter, hence her anxiety disorder. It is killing me to watch it happen again and yet in Canada grandparents have absolutely no rights.
I am loosing hope.
Too bad I can not pay for a response. I have already spent more than I can afford.
Good by sad, disheartened, and frightened.
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

I understand that this is very difficult for you to witness, but it is up to the parent on how to raise their child as they have that autonomous right as long as there is no abuse or neglect present. While a set routine and stability would be best for the child and will limit any psychological effect or long-term issues, it is up to the parent to provide this. Remember you can tell your grand-daughter all about how she should raise this child and give advice when you see fit, but in the end it is up to her to decide how to raise the child. Parenting classes can be effective, especially for fist time parents to help guide them...they do not have to follow all the tips in a parenting class word for word, but it can be used as a good template to give them an idea of how to raise this child in the most effective and nurturing way.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
He also gets to eat alone most of the time.
Spirituality is also close if not non existant
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

Spirituality and religion is definitely a private and personal decision among parents and children that are not involved spiritually or religiously are not significantly than those that are. Now eating alone most of the time can cause anxiety, separation anxiety, and abandonment issues.