Mental Health

Have mental health questions? Ask a psychiatrist online

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

My fiancé is texting and talking to her kids dad more than…

Customer Question
Hi, My fiancé is texting and...
Hi,
My fiancé is texting and talking to her kids dad more than kids related stuff. In the beginning of our relationship she was only talking or texting him just about the kid but now 1.5 year later she is talking to him about her work and how she felt about the past and her feelings about their past and sometimes they go on a lunch date (according to her it's just for the kid). I talked to her about how I feel about this person. He is manipulative and a player.
The reason I can't stand this looser is bc when her kid was 8 months old one day he changed the lock and kicked her out with the 8 months old baby. She was homeless for 3 weeks (she was living in her car with her baby) and now after 3 years he is trying to get close to her by texting her I love you I miss you and using the kid to see her and talk to her.
What bother me the most is that she delete his "sweet" text messages that he send and she reply back.
I asked her if their is any thing she wants to tell about her ex and about their sweet conversation she no their is nothing at all.
After I told her I know about it she got very uncomfortable and said she deleted them bc she didn't want me to see the txt and get upset about.
We are in the middle of planing our wedding and now I see this red flags.
(She goes out of her way to please him...for example if he needs a ride to work or she would call and make a doctor app for him bc he had a cold)
Is this normal?
Why would she care so much about the person that made her and their baby homeless?
I fell like she is disrespecting me by allowing him to flirt with her and makes me angry that after all he did to her and their kid she is still trying to keep him happy.
How should I handle this situation?
Please advice
Submitted: 2 years ago.Category: Mental Health
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Mental Health Question
Customer reply replied 2 years ago
Sorry about the grammar errors! :)
Answered in 1 hour by:
2/22/2016
Mental Health Professional: Dr. Kaushik, Psychiatrist replied 2 years ago
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4,793
Experience: MD Psychiatry
Verified

Greetings.

Welcome to the site.

I am sorry to learn about your situation and I empathise with you.

It seems like your girlfriend has been getting drawn once again towards her ex owing to his sweet talking and gesturing demeanor but more so because a prospective or potential reconciliation may bring her child love and stable environment with both parents being around, this must be her core incentive for responding to her exe's recent advances as she probably has begun to eye a future where she could have biological father of her child with her to share the child's responsibilities together.

I know this must be really hard to digest but this sort of scenario is currently palpable and it would be gross injustice done to you if tomorrow she breaks up with you citing the same very reasons as told mentioned in here.

Yes there is no doubt about the fact that you are being taken for granted and being mistreated and disrespected as you are not being told the truth about her future plan of action. From what it is apparent right now you may get a rude shock in the form of a break up if things conti.nue to blossom between the two of them.

So it is my request to you to get your act together and try to call a spade a spade meaning that you confront her and ask her directly whom she would like to spend her life with as she seems to be in dilemma right now and if at the eleventh hour at the ime of marriage she gets cold feet owing to her present confusion then it would be a devastating experience for you and it may break your heart.

So please do not waste any time and get the matter sorted by earliest. If she tells you that she would want to end the relationship with you then please take no offence and let her go since anyways she would not be entirely yours if her heart lies with someone else.

I hope this helps.

Wish you all the best.

Please kindly leave a POSITIVE RATING if you are satisfied with the answer

Regards

Ask Your Own Mental Health Question
Was this answer helpful?

How JustAnswer works

step-image
Describe your issueThe assistant will guide you
step-image
Chat 1:1 with a mental health professionalLicensed Experts are available 24/7
step-image
100% satisfaction guaranteeGet all the answers you need
Ask Dr. Kaushik Your Own Question
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4,793
4,793 Satisfied Customers
Experience: MD Psychiatry

Dr. Kaushik is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much

Corrie MollPretoria, South Africa

I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well!

ClaudiaAlbuquerque, NM

Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion.

KevinBeaverton, OR

Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
I feel better already! Thank you.

ElanorTracy, CA

Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem.

JulieLockesburg, AR

You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions.

John and StefanieTucson, AZ

I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!!

Janet VPhoenix, AZ

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

Dr. Keane

Dr. Keane

Therapist

1,379 satisfied customers

Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.

TherapistMaryAnn

TherapistMaryAnn

Therapist

4,111 satisfied customers

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.

Dr. Olsen

Dr. Olsen

Psychologist

2,336 satisfied customers

PsyD Psychologist

Norman M.

Norman M.

Principal psychotherapist in private practice. Newspaper contributor, over 2000 satisfied clients on JA

2,246 satisfied customers

ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), ECP, UKCP Registered.

Dr. Michael

Dr. Michael

Psychologist

2,177 satisfied customers

Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.

Steven Olsen

Steven Olsen

Therapist

1,728 satisfied customers

More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education

Anna

Anna

Mental Health Professional

1,656 satisfied customers

Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.

< Previous | Next >

Related Mental Health Questions
What a surprise. Husband has been off and on been txting
Hi there - what a surprise. Husband has been off and on been txting with an ex co-worker - I saw a stream earlier in the year and didn't look at his phone again until this mnth - talking of looking fo… read more
Dr-A-Green
Dr-A-Green
Senior Psychologist Supervisor
Doctoral Degree
44 satisfied customers
On July 4th of this year I had the biggest disaster hit me.
On July 4th of this year I had the biggest disaster hit me. I was told by my wife going on 11 years that she has been having social media relationships for the past 8 years. It started on an online ga… read more
Dr. Natasha
Dr. Natasha
7,913 satisfied customers
My husband has been flirting with other women for 25 years.
My husband has been flirting with other women for 25 years. We have 5 children. Here is an example. He picks one woman at church and flirts with her every week.it goes on and on like sheis the love of… read more
Dr. L
Dr. L
Clinical Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
294 satisfied customers
Updated my iPad to the latest operating system and all of a
Updated my iPad to the latest operating system and all of a sudden my daughter (18 year old college freshman) text messages start showing up in my Message app on my iPad. After some researching as to … read more
Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Adjunct Professor
Master's Degree
1,014 satisfied customers
I really like this girl and can't get her out of my head we
I really like this girl and can't get her out of my head we are really good friends and have shared a kiss or two when drunk but she a boyfriend. we flirt by txt but i don't no if she really likes me … read more
Rafael-E-Therapist
Rafael-E-Therapist
Director / Psychotherapist
Master\u0027s Degree
442 satisfied customers
My husband has always been a flirt, that is how I met him. I
My husband has always been a flirt, that is how I met him. I told him right from the start that once married, I do not like him talking to ex girlfriends or to other women in general. Everything was f… read more
psychlady
psychlady
Clinical Director
Master\u0027s Degree
3,517 satisfied customers
I CAUGHT MY HUSBAND TEXTING A GIRL THAT HAD A CRUSH ON HIM,
I CAUGHT MY HUSBAND TEXTING A GIRL THAT HAD A CRUSH ON HIM, AND TRYING TO DELETE THE TEXTS, HE TOLD ME HE DIDN'T WANT TO MAKE ME JEALOUS , BUT A FEW WEEKS BEFORE WE HAD TALKED ABOUT NOT DELETING ANYTH… read more
Cathy
Cathy
Master's Degree
221 satisfied customers
I have been with my wife for 17 years and married for 12 and
Hello! I have been with my wife for 17 years and married for 12 and a half years. My wife and i have 3 beautiful children. A few months ago i started feeling like my wife was disconnecting from me. I … read more
Kevin Kappler
Kevin Kappler
Clinical Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
353 satisfied customers
My husband stops by his ex's house. He said it was to see
My husband stops by his ex's house. He said it was to see the kids but he did not tell me about it. I found out second hand. I told him I thought that this was disrepectful to myself and her husband. … read more
Dr. Olsen
Dr. Olsen
Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
2,336 satisfied customers
My husband and his ex-wife are really close, like best
My husband and his ex-wife are really close, like best friends close. We have been married for almost 6 years and it bothers me that they are that close. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Or does he ne… read more
AgapeDoc
AgapeDoc
32 satisfied customers
My husband is on a Commitee for the March of Dimes. And he
My husband is on a Commitee for the March of Dimes. And he is consistantly talking to one certain women.By phone, text,skype. but always denies it to me. But when I have been face to face qith her she… read more
Suzanne
Suzanne
Therapist in Private Practice
Master\u0027s Degree
338 satisfied customers
I would like to talk about my fiance's email relationship
I would like to talk about my fiance's email relationship with a female from his past. I was aware that he had contacted a high school friend 2 years ago. This was before we met and started our relati… read more
TherapistMaryAnn
TherapistMaryAnn
Therapist
Master's Degree
4,111 satisfied customers
My husband talks to his ex-girlfriend who is also married
my husband talks to his ex-girlfriend who is also married everyday and she even sends him naked photos of herself. I tried to pretend it didn't bother me but they have both stepped over the line. He h… read more
Kristin
Kristin
Psychotherapist
Master\u0027s Degree
67 satisfied customers
Well yet another question. I caught my wife sending chatting
Well yet another question. I caught my wife sending chatting porn messages to men and women online. Two of these greatly concernrd me out of the hundreds I have found. On the First one she was working… read more
Dr. Michael
Dr. Michael
Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
2,177 satisfied customers
I feel kind of weird asking about this but i have a sister
i feel kind of weird asking about this but i have a sister who has been texting this guy named dylan queener for over a year now. She got this guys number from a girl at school who showed her some pic… read more
Kristin
Kristin
Psychotherapist
Master\u0027s Degree
67 satisfied customers
My question is with regard to my husband's relationship with
My question is with regard to my husband's relationship with my mother. She absolutely HATES him. I mean she despises him. We have been together for 15 years and she has always treated him very poorly… read more
Dr. Olsen
Dr. Olsen
Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
2,336 satisfied customers
Our grandchildren are visiting with their Mom (our daughter)
Our grandchildren are visiting with their Mom (our daughter) for 2 weeks. There are 4 kids, 3 girls 4,6 and 8 and 1 boy 17 months. The four year old has had behavioral issues since the new baby came a… read more
Norman M.
Norman M.
Principal psychotherapist in private practice. Newspaper contributor, over 2000 satisfied clients on JA
Adv Dip Psychotherapy (with Distinc
2,246 satisfied customers
My husband has a soft spot for his ex as she usually asks
Hi, My husband has a soft spot for his ex as she usually asks for help "for their daughter's sake" and he complies. My step-daughter is 4. I've been with my husb since the child was 2yrs and developed… read more
Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi
Doctoral Degree
1,564 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x