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A former friend of mine with BPD, is now trying to

Customer Question
foster relationships with current acquaintances/friends...
A former friend of mine with BPD, is now trying to foster relationships with current acquaintances/friends of mine. If history repeats itself, she's probably already feeding them with lies about me. How can I warn them or let them know not to believe what she says?
Submitted: 2 years ago.Category: Mental Health
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Answered in 2 minutes by:
2/19/2016
Mental Health Professional: Dr. Z, Psychologist replied 2 years ago
Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 10,643
Experience: Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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Hello and thank you for using JustAnswer. The best thing for you to do would be to use examples of her behavior towards others in the past and how it was problematic. Also if you have mutual friends of this former friend and you, than you should try to invite him/her with your current friends and then most likely a conversation will start about this former friend and hopefully it will turn negative. Also another tactic is to plan outings with your friends that engaging and fun, as this would help them to be closer and more attached to you.

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Customer reply replied 2 years ago
I had others try to warn me before I became friends with the BPD, but I didn't listen. I worry these mutual acquaintances will do the same if I try to warn them. I also worry they will hear negative things she says about me and believe these things instead of asking me so I can refute them. I worry that bringing it up before they do will just make it worse (and possibly cause BPD to retaliate).
Mental Health Professional: Dr. Z, Psychologist replied 2 years ago

You cannot stop them from making a choice or from listening to what others have to say about you as that is beyond your realm of control. You can only control how you behave and act with them. What they decide to do is on them, just try to continue being yourself and maybe employ some of the tactics I mentioned above.

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Customer reply replied 2 years ago
Is there an appropriate way to confront the BPD when I hear examples of her spreading lies about me?
Mental Health Professional: Dr. Z, Psychologist replied 2 years ago

There is no appropriate way, it is just a trial and error approach in how you confront the person. BPD individuals do not have a manual that tell others how to behave around them, they are mostly unpredictable.

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