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About two weeks ago, I stopped having emotions, guilt,

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sympathy and empathy. I mean..... all...
About two weeks ago, I stopped having emotions, guilt, sympathy and empathy.
I mean..... all of the things I just listed were already pretty weak but now it seems like all those things just shut down....
I've started imagining me killing people, and I don't feel sadness, guilt, pleasure, etc.
And I know I should! I know that me from two weeks ago would have cried by just thinking about this, but I don't.
I don't feel affection towards any of my friends or family.... I've even imagined killing them and I still don't feel sad or guilty that I took the life out of another being.
I guess on a positive note I still remember how it felt to have feeling and care. I still have my principles of what's right and wrong..... Well.... maybe not... Yesterday in class, one of my close friends said that it would be awful if I moved. I'm moving in one year. And I felt joy. At first all I could think about was that I had experienced joy again, for a few moments I forgot my old princip
Submitted: 2 years ago.Category: Mental Health
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1/28/2016
Mental Health Professional: Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC replied 2 years ago
Linda D.
Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 869
Experience: LMSW, CASAC
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Hi Merlin, my name is ***** ***** I am a psychotherapist in New York State. Thank you for using Just Answer. I hope I can help you tonight. Can I ask some questions? Are you seeing a therapist or taking any medications? What do YOU think is going on that is causing you to not feel anything? did something unusual happen 2 weeks ago? Thanks for answering my questions, i look forward to hearing from you. Linda

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Customer reply replied 2 years ago
Hi Linda,
No, I'm not seeing a therapist or taking any medications.
Well, nothing unusual happened two weeks ago, but I about 3 months ago I moved into my dad's house (I previously lived with my mom).
I have no clue....... I mean I moved to a new school and into my dad's house. But I've moved so many times that I'm kinda used to it, so I'm sure that moving isn't what's causing this. But there is one thing that has been on the back of my head. When I was 11 I lived with my aunt and cousins because my mom was too busy with work. During that time, I would argue a lot about the most unimportant things. And it got to the point where I couldn't talk to anyone and no one would talk to me because of this. So I thought the best idea was to not talk to anyone. So from then until two weeks ago I would barely talk to anyone mostly because I feared people would hate me. School lunch used to be the worst part of the day. But now, I can go on about my day without thinking about what others will think of me. I mean, I do still dislike talking to others, but now it is because I know that whatever this person says to me, I'm going to be bored so why should I even try?. But my point with this was that maybe I somehow "shut down" my emotions, along with empathy and guilt, so that I could stop worrying... I'm not sure if that's even possible...... but it is the only theory I've got.
Mental Health Professional: Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC replied 2 years ago

Wow! You sure do have a lot of insight for your age. It sounds to me like you have had to grow up really fast and look for yourself. Shutting down feelings or "numbing" is a coping mechanism. I wonder if you are justifiably angry with all of the instability in your life? Life is hard enough in high school but really hard if your personal life lacks stable love and support. Are you afraid that you won't be able to feel normal feelings again? Linda

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Customer reply replied 2 years ago
I wish my answer was yes, but no I'm not scared of never feeling normal emotions again. It's not that I don't think it won't happen, but I just don't feel afraid of it.
Mental Health Professional: Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC replied 2 years ago

So Merlin, is there a question you have for me? Linda

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Customer reply replied 2 years ago
Is this normal? Is it normal to not feel guilt, empathy, sympathy, or emotions in my situation? I mean, if this is just me coping, then do other people also imagine them killing me and not feel any kind of remorse or sorrow? Because that is what has been bugging me. Do people also lose all the bonds they have with others? Because that's also me.I haven't felt my emotions, I haven't felt any affection towards anyone, and I haven't felt truly sorry.
Mental Health Professional: Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC replied 2 years ago

Merlin, no it isn't "normal" to not be able to feel sympathy, empathy or emotions in any situation. No, not at all. But this can be a "normal" reaction to some abnormal situations like trauma, abuse, anger, rage, loss, abandonment, pushing down grief, etc. The fantasizing about killing people makes me think you are very, very angry. I am wondering can you talk to your dad about the way you are feeling? Or someone else in your family? Linda

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Mental Health Professional: Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC replied 2 years ago

Hi Merlin, I wanted to check back in with you tonight and see if our discussion helped last night at all. Thinking about you and I know you are struggling. Linda

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