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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1378
Experience:  Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
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How can you make yourself stop loving someone?

Customer Question

How can you make yourself stop loving someone?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Posted by JustAnswer at customer's request) Hello. I would like to request the following Expert Service(s) from you: Live Phone Call. Let me know if you need more information, or send me the service offer(s) so we can proceed.
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

*This website DOES NOT constitute treatment and only provides information and advice in a Q&A format. For treatment (therapy and/or medications) you must go to a licensed professional in your area. Please note that anything said here is not private or confidential, as this is a public forum.

Hello and thank you for using JustAnswer. There really is no specific way to stop loving someone besides time and distance from that person. May I ask, who is this specific person that you want to stop loving and why?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I fell in love with Tim when I was 15 and he was 17. Timing all wrong. He loved Laurel. They had a child, and honestly I wish that would have been happy ever after. Fast forward many years, I am the married one with teenagers and he's single. I'm like the very married kind; I mean that's it. But I still IDK. I'm still I love with Tim, as much as I try to talk myself out of it. I think I always will because he helped me through a lot. And we're friends, but I know he doesn't love me back. I'm miserable. I just don't know what to do.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Tim is the one I can always talk to when I'm upset; we both know what depression is like. And I talk to him about a hundred other things that my husband had no time for or thinks I should know.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
He's my best friend.
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

It sounds like you should probably stop communicating with Tim and move forward with your life. Like I said before there is no real way to stop falling in love with a person, but stopping communication so that you are no longer reminded of that person on a daily basis would be helpful as the distance and time will lessen this attachment you have with Tim. Also I would highly recommend that you consider undergoing individual therapy for this issue because you have stated that you have been in lover and attached to this man for many many years, even more so than your own husband from what you are telling me. Individual therapy will help you better understand why you are so attached to Tim and it will help you to move forward in a gradual manner so that you can focus on your own marriage and not on Tim. For you, it will be unlikely to just stop loving this man, so getting that therapeutic support and systematic treatment would be best.