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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1379
Experience:  Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
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I believe that im in a toxic friendship and I want to know

Customer Question

Hey I believe that im in a toxic friendship and I want to know what I could be dealing with to try and cope with it.. Heres some Examples
Friends since October 2015
#sent me a message while I was talking someone else, copped it because I didn’t reply
#gave me a massive guilt trip saying stuff like he felt hurt that I didn’t tell him personal info about my background( why I don’t like people touching me). Then he told me he got offended because I sat really far away from him.
He told me that he thought that I’m going to die early and that he doesn’t know what he would do if I died. So he wanted me to promise him that I’m not going to die.
#He buys me lunch (what he thinks I need not what I want, I have no choice.)
He kept asking me if I was going to placement (where I met him). He said he would get upset if I went and he didn’t.
#he asks very inappropriate questions. Such as have u ever had a urinary tract infection, or have I ever been pregnant.
# ***** blames me for everything.
#he physically wiped food off my face while I was eating because he said that he couldn’t stand it.
#he asked me to wear my shoes correctly, when I didn’t comply he knelt down took my shoe off and put it back on.
#keeps saying things like I’m going to have to get u back if I let him walk in front of me.
#he pushed me to get off the train at the station.
#he won’t take NO for an answer.
#he won’t let thigs drop, even when I make it clear that I’m uncomfortable.
# ***** messaging/emailing me and gets upset if I don’t respond saying I was worrying all night that I’d done something wrong.
#shows signs of paranoia such as the government will track me especially on the net.
# ***** upset people don’t agree with him.
#keeps following me around, has to know everything that I’m doing.- reads things over my shoulder like what I’m doing on my phone or what newspaper article what I’m reading. Then when I complain he turns it back on me.
#thinks that the WHOLE world is against him.
#very secretive
#very antisocial likes to hide away and like to leave places as quickly as possible.
#he said to message him when I was watching a movie that he had already seen.
#when I said to him that I couldn’t hang out on a day that we usually hang out. He said we don’t hang out that day as if it wasn’t a usual thing.
#he doesn’t like it when I talk to other people
#doesn’t acknowledge what I say but if some else agrees he accepts it better.
#very aggressively tells me not to tell people something that he has told me.
#he is always right
#went for a job interview he said I’m glad that u didn’t get it
# ***** said I need to know where u are at all times and laughed
# ***** asked me about my depression and said “I get angry over real things"
# ***** perceives a situation that I find as major stressful as a good memory.
#he makes a point of telling me how well he knows me
# ***** told him on several different times that I’m pre-diabetic. He bought my LOTS of chocolate for Christmas. He remembered about me telling him because he made this comment about your going to hate me for buying all this chocolate.
#he gets stuck into me if I answer the phone in front of him.
#questions products that I buy such as what do you use that for? Didn’t you just buy some of that?
# ***** right up next to me, (practically in my lap)even if it’s a three seater
#reads my phone messages over my shoulder
#made a comment that he has really dark thoughts"
# ***** me how and when I should text him.
# ***** pressure on me to open up about myself.
#he made a list and read all the things I could change about myself.
# ***** told me how I should be feeling.
#he knows that he has depression, but he won't do anything about it
# ***** he wants me to be honest, when I am he can’t handle it
if u could get back to me it would be much appreciated
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

*This website DOES NOT constitute treatment and only provides information and advice in a Q&A format. For treatment (therapy and/or medications) you must go to a licensed professional in your area. Please note that anything said here is not private or confidential, as this is a public forum.

Hello and thank you for using JustAnswer. It is possible that this man may have a personality disorder or at least traits akin to Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) based on the behavior of not taking responsibility for his own actions, lack of empathy, very controlling, insecurity issues that are masked by this behavior, manipulative, and possibly grandiose. As for coping with this friendship, why even stay in a friendship where someone treats you this way? Why do you not just leave and move forward so that you can longer be abused in this way?