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Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 10643
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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Concern me something happening to a girl i know. I dont have

Customer Question

Concern me something happening to a girl i know. I dont have all the details.She is 3 years very attached to her granpa. Spending many hours togheter since she was born. Nanny and Grandpa taking care while the parents work long hours.Once the mom told me she not like the way Granpa kiss the girl. Not especific. Something suspicious happens the parents take the girl to doctor to see if she was sexualy molested. The doctor found nothing. No report was filed. Then granpa and gramdma became offended with excesive anger, hostility to parents for long time.Once I was visiting the little girl was complying of pain in her genitals when she pee. Grandma was consoling . The girl was in toilet training. Grandma explain that the girl doesnt know how to use the toilet paper been so hard and hurt hersef. But I saw disturbing things the girl was trying to give tongue kiss to her mom. While the girl was naked she was playing with a carrot between her groins. She likes to do the mimic of having sex.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

*This website DOES NOT constitute treatment and only provides information and advice in a Q&A format. For treatment (therapy and/or medications) you must go to a licensed professional in your area. Please note that anything said here is not private or confidential, as this is a public forum.

Hello and thank you for using JustAnswer. May I ask, what is your specific mental health question that you would like an answer to in regards ***** ***** situation?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I dont have any mental health question. I just need orientation on my concern about a little a girl. She is only 3 years old and is very attached to her granpa since she born. The Nanny and her Grandpa take care of her while the parents work for long hours. The girl and the granpa spend to many hours together since she was born.
Once the mom told me she not like the way Granpa kiss the litlle girl. But something suspicious happens because the parents take the girl to the doctor to see if she was sexualy molested. The doctor found nothing. No report was filed. But granpa and grandma became very offended with excesive anger and hostility to the parents for a very long time
.Once I was visiting the my friend home and the little girl was complying of pain in her genitals always she pee. Grandma was consoling the girl . The girl was in toilet training. Grandma explain that the girl doesnt know how to use the toilet paper and clean very hard and hurt her genitals. But in this same visit I saw disturbing conduct in the girl.
She was trying to give tongue kisses to her mom. And also I saw when the girl was naked for a bath she was playing with a carrot rubbing her genitalia with it, she also likes to mimic having sex like dogs in movies.
Are those indicators of sex abuse to this pretty litle girl? Should I tell somebody the things I saw. Should I filed a report to the autoritys?
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

Thank you for your questions. Fortunately what you described does not necessarily indicate sexual abuse as these issues can be linked to normal childhood behavior and sexual development. First off masturbation with items or their hands are normal for children as early as 1-2 years old because that stimulation causes pleasure and a child wants to have as much pleasure as possible...also children do not understand social norms at this age. So the incident with the carrot (or other items) is quite common, as is acting out sexual behavior like with the dog and the kissing. Remember children of this age are not quite adept at social norms. Here are a couple good worksheets on normal childhood sexual development that you may be interested in.

http://www.nsvrc.org/sites/default/files/saam_2013_an-overview-of-healthy-childhood-sexual-development.pdf

http://www.nctsn.org/sites/default/files/assets/pdfs/sexualdevelopmentandbehavior.pdf

http://kidshealth.org/parent/growth/sexual_health/development.html

As for the genital pain, that is not uncommon with children of her age as she may rub it too hard especially if she is still in potty training.

What I would be concerned about for sexual abuse would be intense tantrums, anxiety/fear, nightmares, regressive behavior (crawling instead of walking, refusing potty training and going back to diapers), intense anger, changes in eating habits, changes in sleeping habits, and being withdrawn and finding no pleasure in activities that she used to find pleasurable. Because you did not list these symptoms, it is unlikely that child sexual abuse is taking place. Still if you are concerned, there is absolutely no harm in contacting child protective services to investigate as nobody gets in trouble for being too cautious. I hope this helps and please let me know if you have any questions or concerns.

Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

I hope this answers your questions and gives you some guidance on this issue. Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns as I am happy to assist and support you regarding this issue.

*Please do not forget to leave a positive rating at the top of the page so that I can get credit for helping you. Thank you, ***** ***** appreciate it.