I have a couple questions. am requesting Kate to answer if possible.
I have so much going on right now. It's hard to put in e mail
1. the holidays- Dad has alzeimers, mom is bat shit crazy. Sister told me to eff off a few months back due to how i'm " handling " my dads illness. My whole childhood was nuts, and I'm trying to break away from the dysfunction. I miss him. I cant see him because my mom is a paranoid schitzo. ( not on meds) and everytime I go over there , she starts attacking me or my husband or my kids, and how I'm not a good mom blah blah blah.. So i'm just trying to stay focused on the now.. Very hard. Spending time w/ my grown kids on Friday because they work on thanksgiving.
2. I'm having problems with me- I see a menopause specialist in a few weeks. It's been ongoing for 2 years. no one knows what combo of meds will work. so I mood swing, and sleep only 3 hours a night. I'm eternally tired, and have only been married for 2 years. Feel guilty for saying no all the time when my husband asks me to go out. He is in recovery for being an alcoholic.
3. and most pressing are work issues. I am an RN and on a supervisory team of 2 RN's and 2 clinic supervisors ( not medical). One I share an office with. We initially got along well, but after about 6 months in the office I caught her talking behind my back, and she went to my boss and her and her partner have convinced themselves that " i cant be trusted". I have a good relationship with the persons that I supervise and my nursing staff. I'm pretty straightforward, and honest and i think this allows the employees to respect me and feel comfortable coming to me with issues. This pisses the heck out of the other 3 people on my team. It's like I'm being penalized for being positive and well liked. I have talked to HR who talked to my direct supervisor and alls he keeps saying is " we all need to be on the same page". I've been a nurse for 30 years and I pride myself in being able to relate to people. THe others on my team are very non warm and fuzzy. very business like.
Last week and employee turned in a letter to my supervisor saying that people are quitting because of the other 3 and that the ones left need his help in trying to save the company. My boss interviewed the staff here, and found out that most of them hate the other 3 on my team and " like me". I over heard him in a conversation with them behind closed doors this morning saying .. " I think it's odd that no one has one bad thing to say about Sue".. again, fueling my thoughts that I'm being penalized for trying to keep the teams informed and positive. The person I share an office with > ( one of the two that talks nice to my face , but backstabs me) has been acting weird lately and making petty comments under her breath like.. " well if you'd manage people correctly we wouldnt be in this problem" or " the copier is empty again because sue never fills it". Last week we all had a manager meeting and because I am a happy ( usually) person who enjoys holidays, I offered to take on the employee x mas party. I sent an e mail ( polling the staff) on what they'd like to do this holiday season. on site, vs off site, catered, vs. potluck. I got a literal hate e mail from one of the supervisors saying " who asked you to send an e mail... now our staff are going to think you've promised them something we cant deliver". I never hear good job, nice work, or anything like that from any of them. Today we are having a big meeting to discuss the outcome of the answers that my direct boss got from his interviewing the staff about how they are feeling working here,.. and about finalizing the holiday party. WHy do I feel bad about both of these things. I want the staff to feel appreciated for working so hard..
on top of this.. my husband says that he is tired of " hearing about my work stuff constantly and that it's a pattern for me to not get along in every work place that I'm in".
I dont have many close friends, so now, I feel like I cant even talk to him about the stresses
of my day. I've already cried once today. I feel like I have a ton on my plate..
I am very composed and positive normally. But I'm being worn thin.