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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1379
Experience:  Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
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I have been in a relationship for over five years. Maybe

Customer Question

I have been in a relationship for over five years. Maybe approximately the last couple years we have barely had sex. I personally believe it is because the person I am with has sexual identity problems, I believe this becouse I've found computer searches on my browser bar leading to ads for male seeking male liaisons. When I ask him about this he denies adamantly and says it is not him, someone else must be using the computer!
His main excuse for us not having sex is that he feels he can't get an erection but he has been seen by a doctor and nothing is physically wrong. I tell him he can't expect to have an erection immediately like in his 20's and that foreplay is needed but he insists that something if wrong and makes no effort.
I moved out becouse of the situation but now we continue to see each other , had sex frequently when I first moved out ( I think he thought he would lose me and had to real me back in). Now 7 months later, sex is sporadic , if at all again! What is going on in this relationship? We have many common interests and friends , get along quite well otherwise but I don't think I can live with this lack of sexual intimacy! We cuddle at night when we sleep together and act somewhat affectionate outside of the bedroom. I really care for him or I would not have stuck around this long! Help!
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

*This website DOES NOT constitute treatment and only provides information and advice in a Q&A format. For treatment (therapy and/or medications) you must go to a licensed professional in your area. Please note that anything said here is not private or confidential, as this is a public forum.

Hello and thank you for your question. Do you believe he may have a lower libido than you? Do you think he would be willing to undergo couples therapy with you to discuss and possibly resolve this issue?