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Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 10643
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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My partner and I are currently in a distance relationship

Customer Question

Hello. My partner and I are currently in a long distance relationship contemplating marriage. As part of a hapoy marriage, He is asking for oral sex daily. I dont think this a practical expectation. His need for oral satisfaction has broken us up before. Before we head down the aisle I want to know if his expectation is practical.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

*This website DOES NOT constitute treatment and only provides information and advice in a Q&A format. For treatment (therapy and/or medications) you must go to a licensed professional in your area. Please note that anything said here is not private or confidential, as this is a public forum.

Hello and thank you for using JustAnswer. So I want to make sure I understand this, if you two were married he would want oral sex daily, is this correct? He is not asking for oral sex daily right now because you two are separated by physical distance?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Correct we are separated by distance. 4 states to be exact.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
We are talking about relationship expectations before we take the leap into marriage. One of his expectations is daily oral sex.
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

Obviously individuals are going to have varying libidos and because of this the frequency of sexual acts will vary from couple to couple. But for your boyfriend to expect daily oral sex is a bit unrealistic as most couples will typically have sexual intercourse and other sexual acts frequently early in any marriage/relationship, but then gradually it will lessen as time progresses to an average of 1-2 times a week. So your boyfriend expectation is not practical and also that type of demand puts a lot of pressure on you as well, which is unfair. Sexual intercourse and acts should be an expression of love and commitment towards one another and should not be something obligatory like he is making it sound.

I hope this answers your question and gives you some guidance on this issue. Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns as I am happy to assist and support you regarding this issue.

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