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Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 10643
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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I have this problem of not being forceful enough on getting

Customer Question

I have this problem of not being forceful enough on getting what I want done accomplished. Can you give me pointers on how to do this?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

*This website DOES NOT constitute treatment and only provides information and advice in a Q&A format. For treatment (therapy and/or medications) you must go to a licensed professional in your area. Please note that anything said here is not private or confidential, as this is a public forum.

Hello and thank you for your question. May I ask, why do you think you have this issue? Are you to shy, feel you may get rejected, etc...?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I have this issue because my friend cleans my house because I can't physically do it anymore. I asked her nicely and to do deep cleaning (moving furniture) & sweeping behind things but she continually does not do it. I am in not good health. I can't do it. My husband is angry it is not getting done right. I am just glad it is getting done! Sure it does tick me off it is not right. In the grand scram of things it is minute. My husband is very OCD. It has to be done to his standards! Yes we have been married forever. I tolerate this. Last night it escallated to screaming about not doing things properly. I don't need the stress. So I can't change my husband so changing the housekeeper is the only option. I'm too nice & suggested it would be "a good idea" to sweep behind the table. Move the boxes & sweep behind there etc. Only one chair was moved today. What do I do?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Are you still there?
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

Thank you for your response. I would recommend that you write down a specific check list of what you want done so that your housekeeper can complete the checklist as you have arranged, which will help keep your house keeper on task. In addition, if you notice she has not completed the work while she is still there ask her to do those sections that were not completed. Your goal here is to be more assertive, so try to also practice assertiveness in your every day life so that you can get used to this style more. You also want to keep track of a daily diary/checklist of your own as well where you were assertive and where you could have been more assertive as this is called reflective thought so that you see where you have improved and what other areas you may need improvement on. In the situations where you think you should have been more assertive, you should try to write out narratives on what you could have said or done to be more assertive. Lastly, with the house keeper you can also put post it notes in the areas you want especially cleaned as you can label them problem areas so that your house keeper can get to those specific areas.

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