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Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 10643
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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My boyfriend has recently told me he is an alcoholic. I

Customer Question

Hello, My boyfriend has recently told me he is an alcoholic. I sensed something has been wrong for a few months. not only is he an alcoholic but he has depression and anxiety issues also. now that he's told me this it all makes sense with his behavior and conversational skills. a few nights ago i asked him if he has been to aa meetings and he said no. he had previously asked me to come with him to support him. and the next afternoon he then started talking to me angrily. he continiously goes back and forth with the subject of us dating and now i know why its alcohol when he's sober he wants nothing but the two of us together and going on dates and being together when he's drunk he's hateful and doesnt want anything to do with me and pushes me away.
awhile ago he mentioned after i thought he was drinking he said he wasnt drinking but to heal he just needed to push me away and be with his family. i thought that was awfully strange after he said he wanted my help and their help to help him get through this alcoholism. he still isnt attending meetings or therapy but just wants to be with his family and thinks that will help him heal. then he goes off about how he needs to be only with his family and switches to how he wants his ex gf and how theyre most likely going to be together soon and how he never had feelings for me. which leaves me confused because in the real world they dont even talk. then as i think to myself he's mentioned this three months ago when we were arguing the same argument but yet he was mad and nothing he said connected. then he goes off and talks about how he said we've never talked about dating and how he thinks im a good friend only but just two nights ago he wad discussing with me our relationship when he was obviously sober. i noticed he gets one worded and distant when he's drunk and then when he's sober he ventures the world with thoughts of me and him being together. but when he's drunk he's thinking of his ex. which is upsetting. are these delusions??
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

*This website DOES NOT constitute treatment and only provides information and advice in a Q&A format. For treatment (therapy and/or medications) you must go to a licensed professional in your area. Please note that anything said here is not private or confidential, as this is a public forum.

Hello and thank you for your question. This behavior does not sound like a delusion as it would have to be a fixed false belief (e.g. thinking the government is out to get you or some entity is following you and spying on you), so just thinking of his ex is not a delusion, but if he thinks that he is still in a relationship with his ex and no matter what evidence you provide to the contrary does not change his mind than that would be classified as a delusion. Now because he thinks he is going to be together with his ex soon more expresses a subconscious desire or some unresolved feelings for his ex, but not a delusion. Overall his behavior sounds consistent with someone who drinks alcohol to excess as his cognitive processes have changed while he is intoxicated. So he is not exhibiting a psychotic symptom of a delusion while he is drinks heavily, but is more showing a change in his cognitive thought process compared to when he is sober (which happens to most people while they drink heavily) and possible unresolved feelings for his ex.

I hope this answers your questions and gives you some guidance on this issue. Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns as I am happy to assist and support you regarding this issue.

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