Mental Health

Have Mental Health Questions? Ask a Psychiatrist Online

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

Mental Health

Need support. Just found out my boyfriend is porn addict.

Customer Question
Need support. Just found out my boyfriend is porn addict.
Submitted: 2 years ago.Category: Mental Health
Ask Your Own Mental Health Question
Answered in 19 minutes by:
10/22/2015
Mental Health Professional: Dr. Z, Psychologist replied 2 years ago
Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 10,643
Experience: Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
Verified

*This website DOES NOT constitute treatment and only provides information and advice in a Q&A format. For treatment (therapy and/or medications) you must go to a licensed professional in your area. Please note that anything said here is not private or confidential, as this is a public forum.

Hello again, what is your specific mental health question that you would like an answer to in regards ***** ***** situation with your boyfriend?

Ask Your Own Mental Health Question
Customer reply replied 2 years ago
Hello.... Does it show it is me again??? It is a disaster. Such a mess and such a long story. I wish there was a chat here. I really do not know where to begin. But if I would try to describe it without the begining it would be: I am so hurt I do not know how to stop the pain. I keep crying, I cannot eat, I cannot focus on anything, I cannot think of anything, I am angry, if there was a way to keep my mind off of it it would be all I need. I basically feel crushed. I just do not know how to stop my brain, every free minute I have I am thinking about it. I hate him for what he did to me and I want to hate him more so that I can forget this whole story that lasted 15 years (since I was 15 years old, he is my first stupid love). I probably read thousands articles by now, and they make me scared, I feel like I do not deserve all this, I feel like he is not my husband, I do not have kids with him, I do not owe him anything, it should be easy fo rme to detach from him, but I am so attached to him, more than anything in the world and it is so supid, I have a lot of things going on in my life and instead of focusing on them, I am just leading such a distructive life. I really do not know why I came here, I probably want to be able to at least talk to someone. I cannot tell any friends or family member, I just want to unload....
Mental Health Professional: Dr. Z, Psychologist replied 2 years ago

I am very sorry to hear this. Have you considered just taking a break from the relationship so that you can try to collect yourself?

Ask Your Own Mental Health Question
Customer reply replied 2 years ago
That is what I am trying to do, I took a break but the collecting art of it is not working out.... And I consider myself a very strong woman, the one that can take anythingin the f**king world, abolutely anything, it is just that betrayal turned out to be what I cannot handle. You know we were high school sweethearts, he was my first man, then when we graduated I eft him because I thought I need to find someone more responsible and perhaps more successful.... Then I came to USA for the "american dream", lived here for about 7 years, dated guys, but nobody really got into my heart that deep,I could never forget the first one and would always compare everyone to him. Then one time he wrote me, I did not resist and replied and since then we started communicating again. I kept going back home and spending some time with him there. He told me that he tried to have relationships couple of times and he just did not have the same feelings for other girls. So bascly he never dated anyone but me. Then in the last ear I noticed he became cold (while I know him as a very caring, gentle and loving guy). I first thought his love for me was gone, but he kept insisting that he loves me than anything in the world. And I kept pressing and pressing, I knew and felt something was wrong. I especially noticed that he would turn cold after I would send him my half naked photos (sory for such intimate details), when I would want to flirt with him a little I did that. So then I continued asing him questions and pressing him and this is when he told me about this story with his stepfather... And then by accident I found out about he has a porn addicton... And I do not even know to what degree. I do not even know what he is watching out there. All I know is that I feel like thee is nothing special about me or about our relationship, I feel that all it is he is a sick bustared that kept mastrubating to porn and photos on naked women because it is convinient fo rhim, because he is afraid of real life, real people. He never had a girlfriend not because he loves me so much, but because he is just sick. He is just like evry other man an animal that wants to get some flesh, naked body. And he is worst of them all, because to get a real woman at least you need to put some effort to concuer her, but he is such a piece of crap he can only drea of having allthis bodies and sit there like a maniak and mastrubate to different girls. I feel so betraied, evrything I thought about him and me were just my illusions. I feel dillusional.
Customer reply replied 2 years ago
My mom told me that something is wrong with this guy, it is imposible not to have anyone for 10 years. i said "no mom, he just loves me". Yeah right, he just loves me, no such thing on planet earth.
Customer reply replied 2 years ago
He could not resist for 4 days he said, 4 days without porn, he said life seemed so boring without porn, that the only thing he could think of is how to watch porn
Customer reply replied 2 years ago
He is a true addict
Customer reply replied 2 years ago
He also was talking one time to me on skype, and we were sharing screens, he was showing me how to do something and shared his screen, then he forgot to turn it off, and I did not look at his screen, but at some point I switched back to skype and saw he was scrolling through pornosite while talking to me!
Customer reply replied 2 years ago
I do not know. If you would see me in real life you would never thing such a girl can have such kind of problems, I look like a model and guys rool in my feet
Customer reply replied 2 years ago
But I thought nobody is like him, only he desrves me, because he waited forme the longest, because he tred the hardest, because it is true love. I felt he loves me not only for my body like everyone else, Ithought I could trust him with my life, that he will always be in my corner
Mental Health Professional: Dr. Z, Psychologist replied 2 years ago

I think if you are this distressed it is time to take a break from the relationship so that you can think things over. Also you want to start seeing a therapist to help you better process your thoughts and feelings too.

Ask Your Own Mental Health Question
Customer reply replied 2 years ago
The only time I feel better is when I express my anger and my thoughts to him, but whatever he says I cannot beleive him, he is a lier. And he is begging me to forgive him and to belive him, and I just do not know how to believe him again and one minute I feel like I forgive him and the next minute (usually after reading porn addiction articles) I feel miserable. Do you have anything else to say, some thoughts of your own besides telling me I need to see a therapist, please?
Customer reply replied 2 years ago
I do not know what to do because one part of me wants to tell him all the nasty things I am thinking about and another part of me understands if I do so it will just drive him to the deeper into the dangeon and he may never be able to get out of all this, but this burain is too heavy for me to keep, but as a lover I want to scream and hurt him back very very much.
Customer reply replied 2 years ago
He is basically asking for my support, he told me he will go to a doctor and he will do anything, but I am so hurt I cannot give him this support. I need support myself. And if I will not stand by his side he will most likely continue with his distructive lifestyle
Mental Health Professional: Dr. Z, Psychologist replied 2 years ago

Well remember this is a Q&A website only, we do not provide treatment here. While I know you want to vent and unload, that is not the purpose of this website. If you had a specific mental health question that you would like to ask than I could possibly assist you with an answer, but so far it seems obvious that you are distressed so you should consider ending the relationship or taking a separation from the relationship and then work on yourself and help your own healing from this.

Ask Your Own Mental Health Question
Customer reply replied 2 years ago
ok. thank you
Mental Health Professional: Dr. Z, Psychologist replied 2 years ago

You are most welcome

Ask Your Own Mental Health Question
Ask Dr. Keane Your Own Question
Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1,379
1,379 Satisfied Customers
Experience: Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.

Dr. Keane is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much

Corrie MollPretoria, South Africa

I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well!

ClaudiaAlbuquerque, NM

Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion.

KevinBeaverton, OR

Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
I feel better already! Thank you.

ElanorTracy, CA

Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem.

JulieLockesburg, AR

You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions.

John and StefanieTucson, AZ

I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!!

Janet VPhoenix, AZ

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

Dr. Keane

Dr. Keane

Therapist

1,379 satisfied customers

Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.

TherapistMarryAnn

TherapistMarryAnn

Therapist

3,984 satisfied customers

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.

Dr. Olsen

Dr. Olsen

Psychologist

2,336 satisfied customers

PsyD Psychologist

Norman M.

Norman M.

Principal psychotherapist in private practice. Newspaper contributor, over 2000 satisfied clients on JA

2,246 satisfied customers

ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), ECP, UKCP Registered.

Dr. Michael

Dr. Michael

Psychologist

2,177 satisfied customers

Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.

Steven Olsen

Steven Olsen

Therapist

1,728 satisfied customers

More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education

Anna

Anna

Mental Health Professional

1,656 satisfied customers

Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.

< Previous | Next >

Related Mental Health Questions
I am having terrible guilt and shame about things I did in
I am having terrible guilt and shame about things I did in my past which have suddenly come to my consciousness - when I was about 16 I was extremely sexual and ended up sniffing knickers on a number … read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
720 satisfied customers
Leah,I had a question I did get to mention yesterday..the
Hi Leah,I had a question I did get to mention yesterday..the thread was getting a bit to long anyway lol… read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
720 satisfied customers
I did ask a male professional earlier about my problem, but
I did ask a male professional earlier about my problem, but it would be great to get a female psychologists view also. My husband and I have not had sex in 6 years. He had a mild stroke 5 years ago, b… read more
Linda D.
Linda D.
Master\u0027s Degree
723 satisfied customers
My husband call me a, he did it today. I told him under no
My husband call me a bitch, he did it today. I told him under no circumstances do you have the right to call a woman a bitch. He also tells me that I am miserable. Everytime he starts a fight. … read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
720 satisfied customers
Its kind of imbarrising.. I did realize I could chat to some
its kind of imbarrising.. I did realize I could chat to some one on here … read more
Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie
Masters, Professional Psychology
5 satisfied customers
My doctor switched me from sertraline to viibryd. I did one
My doctor switched me from sertraline to viibryd. I did one week of 10 mg, then 2 weeks of 20 mg, now back to 10mg so I can switch back to sertraline. I don't like viibryd. How can I safely switch bac… read more
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik
PSYCHIATRIST ( MD Psychiatry)
Doctoral Degree
203 satisfied customers
Dear Dr. Keane, just a quick message to say that I did not
Dear Dr. Keane, just a quick message to say that I did not get that job, enough time has passed by to now know this. I've plenty to say, but not plenty of time this week as my gran is now visiting, so… read more
Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane
Therapist
1,379 satisfied customers
I have a friend who says she has DID but she doesn't meet
I have a friend who says she has DID but she doesn't meet the criteria. Her alters are dead people. Mostly characters from Movies or Musicals like Phantom of the Opera. Would this behavior be a sympto… read more
llw26
llw26
Private Practice
Doctoral Degree
11 satisfied customers
Why some people get angry if other people point out they did
Why some people get angry if other people point out they did wrong things? I would think when people know they did wrong things they should feel sorry and try to correct. Thanks.… read more
llw26
llw26
Private Practice
Doctoral Degree
11 satisfied customers
Dear Dr. Keane, I did what you suggested about my dad.
Dear Dr. Keane,I did what you suggested about my dad. Actually, I spoke to my mum too and she's right, it just is not his kind of thing, to get support. You were right, when I initially brought up the… read more
Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane
Therapist
1,379 satisfied customers
Thank you. I did download a book about a little boy with
Thank you. I did download a book about a little boy with autism, from the perspective of an autistic child, but it turned out to be 64 pages long and just a little too grown up -- even though it menti… read more
Dr. Mark
Dr. Mark
Doctoral Degree
129 satisfied customers
My husband lied to me about his. He did cheat on his ex-wife
My husband lied to me about his. He did cheat on his ex-wife after all. Now he says I am sticking my nose into his business. … read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
720 satisfied customers
My wife and I did some role reversal consisting of her being
My wife and I did some role reversal consisting of her being dominant. Domestic discipline and domination. SometiMrs she makes me wear panties. I find embarrassing but arousing too. The whole mentalk … read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
720 satisfied customers
I had lung surgery 2 months ago. Why did I feel this was one
I had lung surgery 2 months ago. Why did I feel this was one of the best days of my life. This is not normal. And I am not saying this because it saved my life, but because of the treatment and everyt… read more
Linda D.
Linda D.
Master\u0027s Degree
723 satisfied customers
I wanted to know how can I distinguish did my gf leave
I wanted to know how can I distinguish did my gf leave because of suspected "psychosis" or she just doesn't wanna be with me I haven't heard anything from her since November 17th this is out of charac… read more
Dr. Z
Dr. Z
Psychologist
10,643 satisfied customers
Have DID. totally dissociated for the first time the other
have DID. totally dissociated for the first time the other day in therapy and embarrassed self. now terrified to face therapist again. any ideas how to calm anxiety and face therapist?… read more
TherapistMarryAnn
TherapistMarryAnn
Therapist
Master's Degree
3,984 satisfied customers
I've been having serious guilt over something I did in the
I've been having serious guilt over something I did in the past. It all triggered when I saw a kid that used to live on my street. I'm 18 now. At the time of incident I was about 11/12 and the kid was… read more
Linda D.
Linda D.
Master\u0027s Degree
723 satisfied customers
I did a no no and tried to look up articles about what I
I did a no no and tried to look up articles about what I have and how pure O can sometimes be misdiagnosed as pedophila! Well I read a comment where one person says even if they've had these thoughts … read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
720 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x