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Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 10643
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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We have a family problem. we cannot get along with my

Customer Question

we have a family problem. we cannot get along with my younger son and his wife. that takes a lot of energy out of me. My wife also is upset an cry a lot. we cannot see our grand doughtier? Is any way we can fix the problem we have.?, to me seem Impossible. We have raised our kids very well and both were adapted when were only a couple of days old. The younger son is 28 years old and the older is 31. We do get along with our other son, the older one. who keeps in touch and help us when we are need him. What we should do?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 2 years ago.

*This website DOES NOT constitute treatment and only provides information and advice in a Q&A format. For treatment (therapy and/or medications) you must go to a licensed professional in your area. Please note that anything said here is not private or confidential, as this is a public forum.

Hello, I am very sorry that you are having this issue with your younger son, I can understand how distressing this can be for you and your wife. May I ask, why exactly do you not get along with your younger son...what are the specific issues you have with him?

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
for some reason he is not close with us, mean my wife and me
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 2 years ago.

It would be good to try to find out why he is not close with you; maybe you can try to have a long discussion with him about this issue and to get a better idea of his view point. But you have to understand that this is not a problem you and your wife can fix as the problem lies with him as he is the one wanting to not be close with you and your wife, so that means only he can choose to spend more time and to reconnect with you both. Maybe suggesting family therapy could be helpful if you all live near each other, but no matter what you and your wife do, the choice is still going to be up to him. Try to write him a letter detailing your thoughts and emotions on this matter and do not cast judgement on him, but instead use the letter to look for answers and hopefully he will provide them back in his response so that you can better understand where he is coming from and then move forward from there. Remember though that you and your wife can do and say everything perfectly, but in the end he is the one that must choose to reconnect with you both, so there is a big element that is out of your control unfortunately. Hopefully he will respond to your letter and then you can use that information to try to reconnect with him in a meaningful way.

I hope this answers your questions and gives you some guidance on this issue. Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns as I am happy to assist and support you regarding this issue.

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