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Hello and thank you for your question. Unfortunately there really is no reason or "why" an individual with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) behaves the way they do, it is just part of the nature of their disorder. You have to understand that you are thinking things through in a logical manner, but her BPD causes her to behave illogically and thus this is why you cannot understand the reasoning of her behavior due to the illogical nature of BPD. Individuals with BPD will often idealize their romantic partners for a period of time and then will reject them...there is no logical reason for this behavior for the individual, it is just an ingrained process inside of them that causes them to behave in this manner. So because your partner has BPD, this has caused her to push you away because of a deeply ingrained process within her identity...it does not have to make sense to her because it is like an impulse that she cannot resist. Your partner probably does not want to hurt you at all and wants you to be happy, but this disorder interferes with personal and romantic relationships, which is why there are so many ups and downs in a relationship with someone who has BPD. Your partner most likely does not want to reject you, but like I said the symptoms of BPD cause her to push you away because of how strong BPD is and how ingrained the disorder is within a person's identity. Overall your partner's mental health disorder is what is causing this behavior and is not truly what she wants, but BPD is such a debilitating disorder that it is very difficult to resist the impulses and symptoms that this disorder creates in a person's life.
I hope this answers your questions and gives you some guidance on this issue. Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns as I am happy to assist and support you regarding this issue.
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