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Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 10643
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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We are the Indian Couple married 4 years ago,we are 29 & 27

Customer Question

Dear Sir,
We are the Indian Couple married 4 years ago,we are 29 & 27 have one baby girl of 3 years .
she got pregnent in first 3 months of our marrige life and after my baby's first birthday in 2013 i left to Gulf. 2 years around i spent here alone and had sex with women as wellas men also as bottom and top.
now my family reached to gulf 3 months back and we had good sex her interest also there to this. again she got pregnent and she no more need child, needs abortion.
I Respect her and understand and willing to go as she likes.
one day I saw her facebook and found many people asked her to have an affair but she didnt
she would like watch porn while having sex, i asked by the time will join with one couple our neighbours from france.
we always had fighting because she dont like if watch other women ...there is reason i went for outing with girl when she was in first time pregnecy.
and slowly she openup and told many of their family members tried her for to have sex when was in india alone but i didnt do this.
she has very good record no boy friend before marrige but she is maintain friendship boys and girls.
she have high sex drive, one day i lie her i had sex with one couple as threesome.
and she started to ask me how did you do for her do same likke to me otherwise tell me i will do like her and she enjoy porn movies.
and she wants to come for pubs also what exactly will be the enjoyment.
now i have curiousity to have her to sex with others also but i dont know what in her mind.
i asked before while having sex didnt refuse but later she refused we are indians as well as from good family.
i have good sex potential use to masturbate 5 times i day if alone.
what happend to me ,why i am thinking to seduce her to have sex with others and like become a swinger.
please advice me
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
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Expert:  Camille-Mod replied 2 years ago.
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Expert:  Dr. Z replied 2 years ago.
This website DOES NOT constitute treatment and only provides information and advice. For treatment (therapy and/or medications) you must go to a licensed professional in your area. Please note that anything said here is not private or confidential, as this is a public forum.
Hello, I can understand why this issue with your wife may be distressing for you, but I would like to ask a couple questions to get a better idea of your situation and to clarify a couple things too.
1. Given that you have had sex with other women and men, does your wife know this about you?
2. Have you had such a high sex drive even before you were married?
3. Do you feel you can quit this lifestyle of having sex with others on a frequent basis?
4. And just to make sure I understand correctly, your wife does not want to have sex with others, she just wants to have sex with you, is that correct?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
1. she dont i had a sex with men,,,i tild her i had sex with couple
2.i have a high sexz drive befire marrige also
3. yes i like this life style to have sex with othres sometimrs
4.yes u r right she want to hvae sex with me only not with others...
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 2 years ago.
Thank you for your responses as it helps me to better understand your situation. It sounds like you do not want to give up your lifestyle of having sex with others, so you are trying to convince your wife to partake in this lifestyle as well, which will help you to continue your own "swinger" lifestyle. It sounds like you want to tell your wife the truth about having sex with other women and men, so that you are honest with her, but you cannot do that if she is against this lifestyle. And at the same time you do not want to lose your wife because you care for her deeply, which is why you keep your sexual lifestyle a secret from her. Your hope is that by introducing her to the "swinger" lifestyle she will enjoy it as much as you and then you both can be 100 percent honest with each other and continue with the marriage in an open and guilt-free way. This is most likely why you have been trying so hard to "seduce your wife to have sex with others," because you know that you cannot quit your lifestyle and that you cannot keep the extent of your lifestyle a secret from your wife forever.
I hope this answers your questions and gives you some guidance on this issue. Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns as I am happy to assist and support you regarding this issue.
*****Remember I only get compensated for my hard work through positive ratings, so I would truly appreciate it if you can take the time and provide me with a POSITIVE RATING using the smiley faces/stars. Thank you so much and it was my pleasure helping you with your issue.*****
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 2 years ago.

Hello, I noticed that you viewed my answer and I was checking in to see if you have any further questions or concerns that you would like me to address on this issue?

*****Remember I only get compensated for my hard work through positive ratings, so I would truly appreciate it if you can take the time and provide me with a POSITIVE RATING using the smiley faces/stars. Thank you so much and it was my pleasure helping you with your issue.*****