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abray1115, Doctor
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 10341
Experience:  Primary care with particular care and experience in managing common psychiatric problems.
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My wife cheated on me....she has admitted on having sex with one of th

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My wife cheated on me....she has admitted on having sex with one of the guys on three different occasions but then says it was emotional cheat and didn't have sex. We have been going through stress since our two children are 3 and 2 years old. She doesn't seem to stop sexting with her ex-boyfriend. She claims she deleted one of the guys from her Facebook. She has her phone locked and is not ready to start over. She says she needs time. I feel like i am trying so hard while she is the one cheating.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  abray1115 replied 2 years ago.
Hello--I am sorry to hear that you are going through this difficult situation. It makes it more difficult with young children. It sounds from your descriptions that she is continuing in other relationships and seems to be avoiding being honest with you or committed to your relationship.You may benefit from counseling ( perhaps joint counseling plus maybe you and her having 1 to 1 time with counselor)You describe several discouraging characteritics of your relationship with her however. What is your age and hers? It tends to sound that immature aspects of her personality may be part of the picture. I think in the long run you would benefit from finding a person whom is committed to you and you also to her!! I think that the cheating and games that sounds to mark her behavior are seeming inherently destructive to your relationship with her. I think a counselor would be helpful As an independent referree in the middle. I realize too that there are generally 2 sides to each story. Perhaps and I don't know ...but perhaps you have had some bad behavior within the relationship as well.. Here is why I advise a counselor to help facilitate resolution off there issues I agree she should not NEED privacy from you with her phone..that is suspicious...she should not be sexually involved with anyone outside your marriage as that is usually destructive to the relationship ...( same for you by the way ) she should not be maintaining close relationships emtional or otherwise with ex boyfriends...if she is married it is time to CUT such former ties .... Ex lover does not add up to ongoing friend ....foolish!! I would not wish you to be a crazy jeolous stalker but she needs to not be unknown as to where she is for hours at a time !! That may be a red flag!! If you have 2 young children you and she need to both be home taking care of the children. Of she has behaviors of going out " with the girls" or partying ...that in my opinion would be nonsense ... You need to be respectful in discussions and disagreements with her! You need not be a stalker and check her whereabouts every 15 minutes for example. There is NO PLACE IN A FAMILY ARGUMENT EVER FOR PHYSICAL VIOLENCE !! So I urge You to stay mindful of this. Ok to talk or fuss but it should not get physically violent between you.Never !! I hope that this discussion may be helpful for you.Let me know if you have further questions or discussion I will be happy to get back with you my answers have been helpful and to your satisfaction then please remember to leave positive feedback Thank you and Best Regards,Anthony Bray MD