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Feeling like complete loss of identity. no other symptoms.

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only negative symptoms of schizophrenia...
feeling like complete loss of identity. no other symptoms. only negative symptoms of schizophrenia. had som kind of meltdown which lasted a week and had me talking like crazy w ppl to subdue the effect of these 'fireworks'. I have no weird external symptoms, like seeing/hearing things etc. am extremely ambitious and have cut off ties wit my childhood friends (like every successfull person for that matter), especially affective ones, to reach the heights. my parents helped someone get in contact with me which I didnt desire and slowly from then everything broke. never been bullied, have ridiculous ego. just hate idiots that trynna bring u down w their loosers mentality. feel like society favors weak ppl generally. am intellectual with economical advantage which doesnt have me working/studying for a living. feel like civilization is at an all time low which, I know, favor schizophrenia and borderline symptoms bc ppl cant move on and drag others (especially gifted ones) down w them.
Submitted: 2 years ago.Category: Mental Health
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7/7/2015
Mental Health Professional: Dr. Z, Psychologist replied 2 years ago
Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 10,643
Experience: Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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Hello, I read through your entire description, but I did not see you pose a question. So what exactly is your mental health question that you would like assistance with?
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Customer reply replied 2 years ago
well does it sound like schizophrenia for example?
Mental Health Professional: Dr. Z, Psychologist replied 2 years ago
No this does not typically sound like Schizophrenia from what you are describing. While I cannot diagnose you without a face to face evaluation, it sounds like either this is a more rigid Depressive Disorder, which could account for those "negative" symptoms you are feeling. Or this could be a Schizoid Personality Disorder where the individual usually will isolate themselves from others, appear cold and apathetic, and overall appears indifferent. But I highly doubt you meet the criteria for a diagnosis of Schizophrenia based on what you are describing.
I hope this answers your questions and gives you some guidance on this issue. Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns as I am happy to assist and support you regarding this issue.
*****If you are satisfied with my answer, I would truly appreciate it if you can take the time and provide me with a positive rating so that I can receive credit for helping you. Thank you
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Mental Health Professional: Dr. Z, Psychologist replied 2 years ago
Hello, I was checking in to see if you have any further questions or concerns that you would like me to address on this issue?
*****If you are satisfied with my answer, I would truly appreciate it if you can take the time and provide me with a positive rating so that I can receive credit for helping you. Thank you
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Customer reply replied 2 years ago
only thing I wonder about is this: to me the general definition of schizophrenia seems meaningless aside from the one sentence u read in freud/some in deleuze. to me its a problem of civilization with very real consequences. a private individual simply isnt allowed to create his own identity. only ppl w identity seem to be criminals/famous ppl/ and ironically drug addicts (only ppl w less identity than them has to be 'ordinary' ppl). ordinary meaning not the same as normal.
maybe its a problem of urbanization/being constantly and involuntary attached to the flock.
ideal thing wd maybe be living in a country-side w a small circle and have internet for outside information.
to me new york is the ultimate nightmare of generalization/homogenization. smaller cities too share this everyone-alikeness.
if ur not on facebook, the ultimate tool of gestapo, and get the general approval that 'yes, ur life is meaningless like all of ours, accept it' ur looked at as a weirdo/outside of how things work, even though no authorities have complaints against u, ordinary ppl do the questionnaire just as well. ppl dont even try to make a life for themselves, its kinda like a death camp-mentality.
maybe I'm spoiled! but when ordinary ppl play the interrogator against u just bc u dont wanna have them in ur life as if theres something wrong w u bc of that (not narcissistic of them at all...), the boundaries of civilization has been crossed out and entered the jungle/hegelian 'intersubjective' recognition has run amok & become completely misunderstood/flipsided. ppl just want attention to play the kafka/borderline/teenage-game. attention to dismiss ur worth and feel better about themselves, like the 'beautiful soul'. psychologically its inhumane and sickening. example: when famous ppl break up its a general tragedy. when ordinary ppl do, they act like they dont care. this indifference has become a matter of course. maybe its cuz freud/lacan are dismissed today and schizophrenia (not in the clinical but theoretical sense) is the cool thing. schizophrenia to me simply is the world/the 'real' in the traumatic sense, caving in on u & stealing ur identity. u dont have normal fantasy to separate urself in a practical manner from the world so maybe fantasy enters that world in an unhealthy, bodily kind of way, lets say. I dont find sub-categorial clinical diseases ending w '-disorder' very helpful. schizophrenia (not in the 'dumb' sense) to me is the only real mental disease of a healthy brain, psychosis just general madness, and the others various brain insufficiencies.
Mental Health Professional: Dr. Z, Psychologist replied 2 years ago
Okay so you have a different definition of Schizophrenia in the "theoretical" sense. But your definition is based on your own thought process and is not based on how Schizophrenia is defined by the world, so I am not sure what you want me to respond to exactly. Is it possibly you may have a different psychotic disorder if you believe the world is trying to steal your identity? Delusional Disorder perhaps? Did you have any further questions at all?
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Customer reply replied 2 years ago
right. but during this 'delusional' journey to greatness which I feel is attacked not by the world in ur sense but by the 'haters' in the hiphop-sense, or whatever, I was admitted to a psychiatric ward bc my parents wanted me to (voluntarily admitted myself to an involuntary place where I had to stay for two-three days). bc my parents thought I had changed and in my opinion for the better so I was fine with that reason. and psychiatry (psychosis-department) didnt find anything wrong w me. so to me this 'delusion' seems perfectly not like a delusion. sure I cd fail, but I want to fail bc of my own insufficiency and not bc other ppl deliberately want to pull u down. which I guess u have to 'deal' w in this world. even if it was a delusion (which it isnt bc what I read/write is shared with other ppl) I find it more real than whatever other world 'ordinary' ppl live in in the sense that books are more real than whatever randomness occurs in the temporal world. like the bridge is there, yes, but its bc of mathematics. or the 'person' is there, yes, but he is a schizophrenic according to certain books.
like I've spent six months at a time sometimes living at my grandma's house only reading books/having visits/taking visits. maybe its unusual nowadays when ppl expect u not to have the time. only reason I didnt attend university (I tried) was bc I felt I wouldnt have the time to concentrate being pulled in a million different directions/going after someone elses schedule, etc.
maybe ppl feel threatened by this independence so I feel threatened by them (not all, I have friends I trust and some I dont trust who are 'friends' involuntary bc 'we went to the same school blablabla'. like no one bothers madonna about this kind of bs (not to sound ridiculous), but I see most ppl nowadays keep childhood friends bc of facebook, etc. creating unhealthy regressive tendencies sometimes. ppl get in contact w u just cuz they can, even if no number is ***** the internet, they ask around, insisting to be a part of ur life so they can judge it/have an opinion. meanwhile we patiently attend psychatric wards for our (or maybe theirs?) sake. I've even seen ppl attend psychiatry just to get a diagnosis and use the title to feel normal in the world, almost as if 'so whats ur diagnosis?' (if ur not ordinary (not the same as normal)) 'aha thats fine'. I get it but... they use the state's money and ur time cynically.
Customer reply replied 2 years ago
just want some kind of vindication I guess for these feelings. like am I only wrong and they (my haters) only right? I dont think so.
Customer reply replied 2 years ago
feel like ppl tries to spread low self esteem like a contagion sometimes. makes me feel 'attacked' and 'schizophrenic' (in my sense). like, just let ppl be the best they can be. are the kardashians the only ones advocating this positive uplifting attitude?
Mental Health Professional: Dr. Z, Psychologist replied 2 years ago
Well you have a unique view of the world from your own perspective and in most cases it is a pessimistic view of the world. This is not necessarily criteria for a mental health diagnosis by any measure either. You ask if your world view resembles a thought process similar to Schizophrenia and I can tell you that it does not because no matter how you personally define Schizophrenia, the basis for the definition still involved Delusions, Hallucinations, Disorganized Thought process/speech, and negative symptoms...all of which you do not have. That is how Schizophrenia is diagnosed, and there has to be a universal diagnosis for this disorder because without that than a disorder is meaningless as it can vary from one person to the next. Your world views are unique to yourself and I cannot tell you if they are wrong or right because they are how you have perceived the world, and I can guarantee in one year, five years, or even ten years those views of the world will change because we as human beings are not static and we all experience new things that make us change our views of how we work and how the world functions.
Ordinary people are usually happy, as it is not just celebrities, and also celebrities go through some of the same struggles as ordinary people, but you just do not see it. Just because you do not see a celebrity like Madonna or the Kardashians go through similar issues as an ordinary person does not mean it does not happy. This is because you do not know these people personally and are not with them 24/7 as opposed to certain ordinary people that you may know by first name and see daily.
Overall your world view is unique to you and this is and this is not a sign of a mental illness. The world is not causing you to be "schizophrenic," but it can cause you to be disheartened and confused. I do not think you are wrong about the world necessarily, but I also do not think you are right either. Just like with most things in this world, you are more in the middle and your views will evolve over time as you experience more in the world too.
*****If you are satisfied with my answer, I would truly appreciate it if you can take the time and provide me with a POSITIVE rating so that I can receive credit for helping you. Thank you
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Customer reply replied 2 years ago
note: with my pathetic references to celebrities I do not envy their happiness/unhappiness, but their 'privacy' (dialectically, their name is ***** ***** at a distance even when ppl are close with their dumb selfies as u've seen on tv, its still 'mental distance' even if physically close, flesh & blood dont ruin the personality/'illusion'/fun, its not like 'oh, ur just flesh & blood after all', its still something more, and in a sense its potentially true of everyone and really true of some, but private persons have a hard time giving the next man respect, making him feel like he cd be more than flesh & blood after all), personal integrity, respect, etc. to me theres nothing cute about anonymity. feel like out here its easy to get lost in the sauce and become, unwittingly, simply nobody. u can work ur ass off and still be treated like sh*t at the end of the day just bc ppl have the ability to reach u. like cyber-bullying. in that way celebrities are harder to reach (really reach in the sense of putting urself at their level, an anonymous comment at a verified social media account just hasnt that much weight), have more real integrity (contrary to popular opinion I'm aware), and its simply easier for them to do what they do unbothered and with an 'established identity'. just feel like intellectuals wd have it easier wd a famed name in order to get the ppls respect and then be able to help ppl at large and not having to 'hate on' everyone so much and desperately try to distance oneself from the crowd and seem so stuck up and vain all the time when what we want to do is help both the world and ourselves. just easier. thats all. in this world we have to explain ourselves to every idiot & be 'humble' which, the first, is impossible. like in 'ancient greece' and so on. healthy mix of entertainers and intellectuals. aristotle knew that even if good ppl did good things bc of honor it was still good and fame had in this respect its legitimacy. fame wasnt invented simply for vanity as ppl seem to think now. it has and have had its practical uses. nowadays our intellect is often mistaken as delusion bc popular belief/media/the middleclass is prevailing. all of which are infected by the 'passion of the real' in the lacanian sense. the common sense, naive, 'real'. ready-made, often moral, opinions, and so on. the general run often have the same unconscious negative 'world-view' of journalists, media, and sometimes (no offence) psychologists. theyr not 'dreamers' in any case.
well, u get it.
Mental Health Professional: Dr. Z, Psychologist replied 2 years ago
I understand how your world view is and like I said it is not a sign of mental illness, but something that you have developed through experience and from your own perspective. There is nothing wrong with having a unique world view, in fact it is encouraged to allow for more original thoughts. But this is not a mental illness by any stretch. Now I think we stretched away from the original question on if you have a mental illness (schizophrenia) or not. If you want to discuss the less value on "intellectuals" in the world, you would have to rate this thread and open up a new question thread per JA rules. Either way I wish you all the best and I hope you can continue with your original thoughts and unique set of world views.
*****If you are satisfied with my answer, I would truly appreciate it if you can take the time and provide me with a POSITIVE rating so that I can receive credit for helping you. Thank you
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