Mental Health

Have mental health questions? Ask a psychiatrist online

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

My husband left me about 3 weeks ago. We have been fighting…

Customer Question
Hi. My husband left me...
Hi. My husband left me about 3 weeks ago. We have been fighting for a long time. I haven't worked in awhile. I felt like nothing I ever do is ever good enough, I start cleaning the house & get so frustrated I stop because I feel like it's never enough. He always has criticized me & hides it with jokes. When he left I said I wanted to die. I really did want to die. He left & called the police. Then sat with his mother (her house isn't far from ours) and timed how long it took the police to arrive.. 37
Minutes apparently. They took me to the hospital & they did release me because I never would kill myself because I wouldn't do that to my kids. They said I have acute depression. I am going to doctor tomorrow. I am 37 years old & didn't have any problems with depression ever until I got into this relationship. I'm not sure if this is my fault but he left me because I have been angry for a long time. I do not know why. I have picked fights with him & I am very sensitive to things he says & I read into things (I think?!)... I have said some nasty things to him that I never meant. I do not know why I said those things. I feel worthless all the time & blame myself constantly for financial issues, he also has blamed me for all of the financial problems. He has bad mouthed me to his family so much that his mother hates me. He even has told my family every bad thing I've done... I always downplay anything he's ever done if I ever say anything to begin with because I don't discuss our relationship with others. I moved into a small town with him that are all his family & friends. I am always looked at as the reason for any problems that have occurred in our relationship. I feel like lately I have been the abusive one with the things I've said... I just don't know how I got this far down that I can hardly function. I don't understand how he can think I'm so awful especially since he knows I am depressed. He thinks it's in my head, he's called me a crazy bitch, said I just gave up on life.. He resents me very much & I'm very frustrated because I do realize that the way I've been lately has been difficult & I've said things I shouldn't have said... Why does he feel he hasn't done any wrong & now that he knows I am depressed why does he feel it's ok to just leave me because "I need help"... I'm just very confused. I'm so mad at him sometimes but then I miss him so much the other times.
Submitted: 3 years ago.Category: Mental Health
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Mental Health Question
Answered in 16 minutes by:
6/24/2015
Mental Health Professional: Dr. Z, Psychologist replied 3 years ago
Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 10,643
Experience: Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
Verified
This website DOES NOT constitute treatment and only provides information and advice. For treatment (therapy and/or medications) you must go to a licensed professional in your area. Please note that anything said here is not private or confidential, as this is a public forum.
Hello, I am very sorry that you are having this difficulty with your husband, I can understand how distressing his behavior would be to you. Obviously I have never met your husband, so I cannot say with 100 percent certainty why he would behave in such a manner as I cannot read his mind, but I can provide you with some speculation as to why he is treating you this way. It is possible that your husband may have behavioral traits similar to a personality disorder (possibly Narcissistic Personality Disorder) where he feels that nothing is his fault, purposefully demeans you to lower your self-esteem, and tries to control/intimidate you throughout the relationship. In addition, your husband may also be somewhat ignorant about mental illness as a whole, which is why he says this is all in your head, thinking that you can just snap out of a depression if you wanted to. Many individuals who are ignorant of how severe a depression can be for someone will often blame them for their woes and troubles, which of course only furthers the depression. He may believe that you are depressed on purpose because you want others to feel sorry for you, and given his behavior instead of helping and being supportive, it just causes him to resent you more.
Regardless of the why your husband is treating you in this manner, it is apparent that this marriage has not been healthy for your overall mental health and it would be best for you to take some time away from it so that you can heal from the negative effects of your husband’s behavior. The doctor will most likely prescribe you an antidepressant and recommend therapy to help you break free from this depression and move forward with your life. After you have been treated for this depression and feel you have more control over your life than maybe you and your husband can discuss the future of your marriage or you can decide on your own if you want to continue with this marriage or not. If you do decide to continue with this marriage, than your husband will have to make changes of his own as his behavior cannot continue and he will have to be more supportive and understanding.
I hope this answers your questions and gives you some guidance on this issue. Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns as I am happy to assist and support you regarding this issue.
If you are satisfied with my answer, I would truly appreciate it if you can take the time and provide me with a positive rating so that I can receive credit for helping you. Thank you
Ask Your Own Mental Health Question
Was this answer helpful?

How JustAnswer works

step-image
Describe your issueThe assistant will guide you
step-image
Chat 1:1 with a mental health professionalLicensed Experts are available 24/7
step-image
100% satisfaction guaranteeGet all the answers you need
Ask Dr. Z Your Own Question
Dr. Z
Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 10,643
10,643 Satisfied Customers
Experience: Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.

Dr. Z is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much

Corrie MollPretoria, South Africa

I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well!

ClaudiaAlbuquerque, NM

Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion.

KevinBeaverton, OR

Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
I feel better already! Thank you.

ElanorTracy, CA

Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem.

JulieLockesburg, AR

You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions.

John and StefanieTucson, AZ

I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!!

Janet VPhoenix, AZ

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

Dr. Keane

Dr. Keane

Therapist

1,379 satisfied customers

Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.

TherapistMaryAnn

TherapistMaryAnn

Therapist

4,111 satisfied customers

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.

Dr. Olsen

Dr. Olsen

Psychologist

2,336 satisfied customers

PsyD Psychologist

Norman M.

Norman M.

Principal psychotherapist in private practice. Newspaper contributor, over 2000 satisfied clients on JA

2,246 satisfied customers

ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), ECP, UKCP Registered.

Dr. Michael

Dr. Michael

Psychologist

2,177 satisfied customers

Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.

Steven Olsen

Steven Olsen

Therapist

1,728 satisfied customers

More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education

Anna

Anna

Mental Health Professional

1,656 satisfied customers

Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.

< Previous | Next >

Related Mental Health Questions
My boyfriend and I just had a fight. We live together, own a
My boyfriend and I just had a fight. We live together, own a home together... he has been skipping off work a lot lately and I'm worried that it's going to negatively affect his standing with his boss… read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
1,159 satisfied customers
There was an event that had been bothering me. I went to
There was an event that had been bothering me. I went to wake my boyfriend up to for us to head over to work but I wanted to drop by a place to eat first before heading there. He got annoyed which got… read more
Dr. Z
Dr. Z
Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
10,643 satisfied customers
My husband left me about 3 weeks ago. We have one child
Hi. My husband left me about 3 weeks ago. We have one child together & one from my previous relationship, he is 11 & my husband has been in his life since he was 4. We have been together 8 years but m… read more
Dr. Z
Dr. Z
Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
10,643 satisfied customers
My husband left me and my son, 8, for a 25 yo girl and she
Hi Dr. Mark, My husband left me and my son, 8, for a 25 yo girl and she is about to have a baby for him any day now, yet he refuses to sign the divorce papers. This young lady sent him provocative pho… read more
Dr. Z
Dr. Z
Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
10,643 satisfied customers
I need help with problem solving techniques and an honest
I need help with problem solving techniques and an honest opinion. My boyfriend and I are pregnant. He wanted me to move in his house (sell my house) but I refused without a commitment. I already have… read more
TherapistMaryAnn
TherapistMaryAnn
Therapist
Master's Degree
4,111 satisfied customers
My husband and I are separated because of a no contact
My husband and I are separated because of a no contact order. I am sick about it. We have a seven week old baby. He lost his temper and as a result is paying the price. I too have some issues to work … read more
David Akiva
David Akiva
Master\u0027s Degree
10 satisfied customers
I've been married 21 years. My husband didn't tell me we
I've been married 21 years. My husband didn't tell me we were having financial problems. He knew six months ago that we were going to be evicted from our home. He told me and our 18 year old son 12-ho… read more
Ask Eleanor
Ask Eleanor
Psychotherapist Family Therapist Author
Master's Degree
62 satisfied customers
How does a family of caring cousins obtain mental health
How does a family of caring cousins obtain mental health services in D.C. for a well educated and employed (62 y/o) relative who continues to exhibit hoarding tendencies, fails to make basic (necessar… read more
Dr. Mark
Dr. Mark
Doctoral Degree
129 satisfied customers
I have a tendency to start fights with ,my boyfriend at the
i have a tendency to start fights with ,my boyfriend at the worst times. always when things are going well. i dont know why i do this and im hurting him too much. i cant stand this anymore. why am i t… read more
Penny Rayas, MFT
Penny Rayas, MFT
Family Therapist
Master\u0027s Degree
394 satisfied customers
I think my husband of 31 yrs may be bipolar. Over these
I think my husband of 31 yrs may be bipolar. Over these years he's been nice and then gets episodes of extreme anger. He frequently does strange things. He lies a lot. He's 54 and acts like an irrespo… read more
Mark Manley
Mark Manley
133 satisfied customers
I posted this question elsewhere but want a professional
Hi i posted this question elsewhere but want a professional answer so i have an older brother, who a few months ago resorted to attacking me physically. I am ten years younger than him, and while he n… read more
psychlady
psychlady
Clinical Director
Master\u0027s Degree
3,517 satisfied customers
I believe my partner is a sociopath or suffering from
I believe my partner is a sociopath or suffering from dissocial personality disorder. but how do I convince him to get help? I've raised the subject with him on 2 separate occasions and both times the… read more
Kristin
Kristin
Psychotherapist
Master\u0027s Degree
67 satisfied customers
I have an 18yr old son who I had always had a pretty good
I have an 18yr old son Andy who I had always had a pretty good relationship with. We did many activities together hunt fish ect. When he was 14 out of the blue he said he just didn't care anymore and … read more
BillLCSW
BillLCSW
Psychotherapist, Consultant, Expert Wit.
Master\u0027s Degree
8 satisfied customers
I feel like I am in a crisis with no easy answers. I met my
I feel like I am in a crisis with no easy answers. I met my sons father approx 4 yrs ago and we have never had an "easy" relationship. He is 37 yrs old and suffers from depression which he hasnt been … read more
Dr. Michael
Dr. Michael
Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
2,177 satisfied customers
My sister-in-law used to get along until I had my first kid.
My sister-in-law used to get along until I had my first kid. She started to compete with me in what I do, where I go, what I wear. she had a very competitive personality and she is a jealous person an… read more
Cathy
Cathy
Master's Degree
221 satisfied customers
I've been married 27 years to a man who has become
I've been married 27 years to a man who has become increasingly verbally abusive. In the beginning he was affectionate, attentive, loving, etc. and we were very close. He could be closed and distant a… read more
Suzanne
Suzanne
Therapist in Private Practice
Master\u0027s Degree
338 satisfied customers
My husband walked out on me and our 3 kids 2 yrs. ago, he
My husband walked out on me and our 3 kids 2 yrs. ago, he had been unfaithful, and without any warning, verbally, he said its over and left, zero support, zero communication. He finally file for divor… read more
Tamara
Tamara
Psychotherapist
Master\u0027s Degree
1,071 satisfied customers
I've been married to my husband for almost 18 years and
I've been married to my husband for almost 18 years and we've been together for 20. I'm He's been extremely depressed and blaming me and our marriage for his depression. He will not open up to anyone.… read more
Anna
Anna
Mental Health Professional
Master's Degree
1,656 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x